T.H.+--+Ashton+Weis

Letter of Introduction (posted January 20) Hi! My name is Traunna (Tray-on-na) and I'm a juinor at Roosevelt. There isn't much to know about me, besides the fact that my whole life revolves around music and dance. If I go a day without dance or music then there is something wrong. When it comes to writing a paper it's hard for me to start off, I never know what to write. I struggle with not summarizing, punctuation/spelling and strong vocab use. This semester I hope to become a better writer and find techniques to help me write an essay better. I tend to doubt myself a lot when it comes to writing and I hope to gain more confidence in my writing.
 * Personal Reflection on Topic of Inquiry ** (posted **RHS** January 27 -- **171** January 29)

Google’s definition for music is “the art of science of combining vocal or instrumental sound (or both) to produce beauty of form, harmony and expression of emotion.” My definition for music is an escape from everything surrounding you, yet relates to everything you are trying to escape from. Music along with dance is my whole life and without it I would be extremely lost. **Is there a way to start with your own voice, instead of a definition? I know in your letter of intro, you said you had problems beginning a paper, but the reader is really interested in reading this because you wrote it. Perhaps if you started with a very specific personal story or simply how you define music? Or possibly describing a song that is means something to you?**

For as long as I can remember music has been a part of my life from the women in my family playing it while cooking and cleaning to the males playing it while watching sports and playing dominoes. **These examples are a great way for the reader to understand what it means to you personally! Are there others you could add, more specific?** It fills the silence that other things cannot and speaks the words that people cannot find to say. **[**I do not know the exact day or the exact moment when I realized how important music was for me, because I realize it over and over again.**] Really like this sentence, it gets at the importance of what music is to you.** With each song I hear and every emotion that comes with it opens another door of music into my life.

When it comes to settling down and finishing up certain homework assignments or my household chores I need to hear a musical sound to focus. **[**Right now at this very moment while writing this paper I am listening to music.**]Good way to get the reader to understand its importance to you.** One of my favorite songs by India Arie named Ready for Love. The soft mix of the piano and acoustic guitar, soothing my mind while, organizing my chaotic thoughts to form this paper. Without having all of this powerful beats and words I think my concentration would be worse than what it really is for someone with a self diagnosis of ADHD and ADD. **Not sure if this is the best way to end the paragraph, as the reader I want to know more why you have self-diagnosed ADHD and ADD and why music helps that?**

Music pulls out of me every emotion possible. From happy to sad, to even being envious of the musical talent that the artist was blessed with. My mood dictates the playlist that I listen to that day. I could not ever imagine meeting someone who was not touched by music the same way that I am. I guess you can say in the end I am always questioning, what is your definition for music? What is music to your life?


 * This paper does a great job of really getting at the heart of how important music is to you. You have done a very good job of helping the reader understand and it is very gracefully written. You have gotten me so intrigued about your love of music that I really wish to know more. I think some specific examples could really advance the ideas of this paper.**

Rough Draft **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 3 -- **171** February 5)

In today’s society humans find various ways to express themselves. This can be done through thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Some choose sports, art, dance or writing as their guide to express themselves. As for me I use music for my form of expression. Without music I would be lost for words. **[**Music says everything that I want to say when I do not know how**]**.**This is a great sentence.** What kind of music I listen to is based off my mood. Majority of the time you will catch me listening to, R&B and Hip Hop. When I listen to R&B it has me think a lot about the lyrics and the meaning behind it. When I listen to Hip Hop I am more in the dancing mood. I feel like moving no matter where I am. Music describes my soul.

With music being a part of my daily life it is always there when I need it the most. It is like my best friend helping me identify every emotion I am not able to. There is a song that relates to every emotion and situation that I have ever been in. Ever last emotion thought of comes out of me when I listen to songs. I feel sorrow when songs touch my heart and have a strong and deep meaning behind it. I feel envy of the talents that the artist was blessed with, but overall music makes me happy because it is the only thing that makes me feel complete. It is the only thing that I can actually depend on to be there for me. Music never fails me. **Both of these paragraphs end with very short good sentences, I was wondering if maybe you could do that the whole way through or why you stopped?**

Now that my emotion is detected I realize that the lyrics say the words that I want to say. It seems like it takes my disorder thoughts and places them into sentences that explains everything. Finding a song that relates to my situation just randomly happens. Since I am constantly listening to music I know plenty of songs. **Why does the reader need to know that you know plenty of songs? Is it important where you find them, how you find them or why they strike you?**

Having the understanding of your feelings is great, but not being able to actually tell someone word for word what you’re feeling and why can be a problem. Whenever I cannot find the right way to express my feelings I just have people listen to a particular song that explains it all and then some. Music is very important because it is the one thing that can pull things out of you that you never thought would come out. I listen to music for all different kinds of music like tune, rhythm and lyrics, but in the end I listen to it as a tool for self expression.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt56283.html [] [] [] A friend
 * This piece makes me understand that you define music as a way for you to converse with people when you cannot find the words and helps you understand your emotions.** **I think you do a great job of giving the reader specific details of why and how music has helped you and what it means to you.**
 * You never give the reader straight out what your definition of music is, you leave it to them to infer, is that on purpose or not? I would suggest reading your piece out loud before you turn it in and watch the tense-switching. This will really give you exactly how the paper will sound in the reader's head.**

Revision **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 10 -- **171** February 12 )

[In today’s society humans find various ways to express themselves.**] This sentence is a very broad way to begin your paper, what is the reason you choose to begin this way?** This can be done through thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Some choose sports, art, dance or writing as their guide to express themselves. As for me I use music for my form of expression.Without music I would be lost for words. Music says everything that I want to say when I do not know how. What kind of music I listen to is based off my mood. Majority of the time you will catch me listening to, R&B and Hip Hop. When I listen to R&B it has me think a lot about the lyrics and the meaning behind it. When I listen to Hip Hop I am more in the dancing mood. **[**I feel like moving no matter where I am. Music describes my soul.**] How do these two sentences connect?**

With music being a part of my daily life it is always there when I need it the most. **[**It is like my best friend helping me identify every emotion I am not able to.**] I like this metaphor of the "best friend."** There is a song that relates to every emotion and situation that I have ever been in. Ever last emotion thought of comes out of me when I listen to songs. I feel sorrow when songs touch my heart and have a strong and deep meaning behind it. I feel envy of the talents that the artist was blessed with, but overall music makes me happy because it is the only thing that makes me feel complete. It is the only thing that I can actually depend on to be there for me. Music never fails me.

Now that my emotion is detected I realize that the lyrics say the words that I want to say. It seems like it takes my disorder thoughts and places them into sentences that explains everything. Finding a song that relates to my situation just randomly happens. Since I am constantly listening to music I know plenty of songs. It is crazy that I can remember all of these songs, but can barely remember the material taught in the class. I guess my reasoning behind this is music has huge impact on my thoughts and emotions. A close friend of mine once told me **[**“A girl’s favorite song tells more about her feelings than her lips ever will.” The most memorable time I used music was to tell a group of close friends how much I would miss them.**] Great quote, is it important to use her name, more about her, or the background as to what the situation was?**

Towards the end of my 8th grade year it hit me that the close circle of friends that I have had for the past three years might no longer be so close the upcoming fall. A few of us were going to different high schools while most of us were told during high school you will lose and gain friends. I was terrified that my friends would lose our close bond so I decided to make a slide show of pictures for us to remember the times we spent together. The two songs I used for the slide show were End Of The Road and It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday by Boyz II Men. These two songs explained each of us were thinking and feeling. Saying goodbye to each other was like saying goodbye to the world because at the moment we were all each other had. **Love the personal example, including the song titles.**

Having the understanding of your feelings is great, but not being able to actually tell someone word for word what you’re feeling and why can be a problem. Whenever I cannot find the right way to express my feelings I just have people listen to a particular song that explains it all and then some. Music is very important because it is the one thing that can pull things out of you that you never thought would come out. I listen to music for all different kinds of music like tune, rhythm and lyrics, but in the end I listen to it as a tool for self expression.


 * The last draft gave me a very clear explanation of what music means to you. This draft continues that trend, but it also gives some really great examples, which I really like. The "quote" and "slideshow" paragraphs are especially good ones.**


 * This draft did a better job with tenses, but you start some paragraphs seemingly in the middle of a thought or an idea, is there a way to tie your paragraphs together?**

Final **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 17 -- **171** February 19 ) In today’s society humans find various ways to express themselves. **Why just today's society?** This can be done through thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Some choose sports, art, dance or writing as their guide to express themselves. **As for me** I use music for my form of expression. **(By saying I, it is understood that you are talking about yourself)** Without music I would be lost for words. Music says everything that I want to say when I do not know how. What kind of music I listen to is based off my mood. Majority of the time you will catch me listening to, R&B and Hip Hop. When I listen to R&B it has me think a lot about the lyrics and the meaning behind it. However, while listening to Hip Hop I am more in the dancing mood. I feel like moving no matter where I am. Music describes my soul.

With music being a part of my daily life it is always there when I need it the most. **Why do you begin this sentence with the word: “with”?** It is like my best friend helping me identify every emotion I am not able to. There is a song that relates to every emotion and situation that I have ever been in. Ever**y** last emotion thought of comes out of me when I listen to songs. **This sentence is confusing.** I feel sorrow when songs touch my heart and have a strong and deep meaning behind it. **Who or what has a strong and deep meaning behind it?** I have envy of the talents that the artist was blessed with, but overall music makes me happy because it is the only thing that makes me feel complete. It is the only thing that I can actually depend on to be there for me. Music never fails me when it comes to finding my mental state.

Now that **Once** my emotion is detected I realize that the lyrics say the words that I want to say. **(With the “now that” in this sentence, it makes it seem like it’s coming after something else, which is a little confusing.)** It seems like it takes my disorder thoughts and places them into sentences that explain everything. **What is ‘it’?** Finding a song that relates to my situation just randomly happens. Since I am constantly listening to music I know plenty of songs. People probably think that it is crazy that I can remember all of these songs, but can barely remember the material taught in the class. I guess my reasoning behind this is music has huge impact on my thoughts and emotions. A close friend of mine, Daziona, once told me “A girl’s favorite song tells more about her feelings than her lips ever will.” **Do you agree with her statement? You should make that clear.** The most memorable time I used music was to tell a group of close friends how much I would miss them. **I like that you moved the quote and put it here.**

Towards the end of my 8th grade year it hit me that the close circle of friends that I have had for the past three years might no longer be so close **in** the upcoming fall. A few of us were going to different high schools while most of us were told during high school you will lose and gain friends. **Why were you told that you would lose and gain friends in HS?** I was terrified that my friends would lose our close bond so I decided to make a slide show of pictures for us to remember the times we spent together. The two songs I used for the slide show were **“**End Of The Road**”** and **“**It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday**”** by Boyz II Men. These two songs explained **what** each of us were thinking and feeling. Saying goodbye to each other was like saying goodbye to the world because at the moment we were all each other had. We were our own little family; we had our share of arguments and laughter, but no matter what we stood by each other’s side. Our bond that we shared was unbreakable and being able to show them that was heartfelt. **I do like the new ending; it gives the paragraph some closure.**

Having the understanding of your feelings is great, but not being able to actually tell someone word for word what you are feeling and why can be a problem. **This sentence is a little confusing.** Whenever I cannot find the right way to express my feelings I just have people listen to a particular song that explains it all and then some. Music is very important because it is the one thing that can pull things out of you that you never thought would come out. **Is it the only one thing, what about other forms of expression?** I listen to music for all different kinds of music like tune, rhythm and lyrics, but in the end I listen to it as a tool for self**-**expression.


 * This is good work and you’ve made great progress from the first draft, each one is getting consecutively better. I think it’s great that you’ve come such a long way from the original. Music must really mean a lot to you and that comes across well in your essay. You give good examples about what it means to you, there are a few thoughts that need to be completely hashed out, but overall I really understand how you define music.**


 * I really want you to pay attention to how your sentences are being shaped and if they are getting your points across. There are a few places that are confusing and need some clarification. Especially the two highlighted sentences.**


 * Thanks for sharing with me!**

I believe that the purpose of the definition essay is to break down and expand our perspective on that certain definition. I don’t believe I succeeded at this to the best of my ability. Part of my reasoning to believing this is because I don’t believe the concept of what was wanted was fully clear to me and neither was the rubric. At first when writing my paper I felt that I was doing a good job, but once I returned to class on the day it was due and seen all of the things missing in my essay it became clear that I wasn’t fully aware of what was expected. **Why did you feel this way? Is there something that I could have done? What do you think was missing?** My intended audience was mainly for anyone interested in reading it, for anyone who had the same deep connection to music as I did. **I do think I really understood your definition by the end.**
 * Reflection #1 ** (posted **RHS** February 20 -- **171** February 22)

Rough Draft **Comparison** (posted **RHS** February 24 -- **171** February 26 ) Throughout the world humans use music for many things, for majority of us it is used as a form of expression and or a peace of mind.**What about music as a ritual (church/celebrations/cultural reasons) instead of just expression or peace of mind?** When going through trials and tribulations music is one thing that can bring peace to mind, body and soul. Making people become relaxed and releasing all the tension in the body while shutting the entire world out and being alone. **Is music really the "one" thing that can bring peace to mind, body and soul?** Expressing emotions can be hard, but for many when expressing themselves music is one of the main tools used to complete that goal. At any moment through the day people sing with or without music, most sing more than once a day. **Do most people sing more than once a day? And then do they sing their own songs or other people's songs? Does that matter?** As for me I sing whenever the opportunity is given, hopefully when no one is in ear shot to hear. We can sing about anything. Sing a song is like telling a story with a melody


 * Not even close to being half way done. I'm not sure what to write or if these two are a good topic to compair with each other.**


 * I understand from your beginning that you are trying to compare music as a form of expression verses music for peace of mind. I Think this could be a valuable and interesting comparison and I'd really like to see where you can take it, but I would just make sure that you have enough to compare.**

Revision **Comparison** (posted **RHS** March 2 -- **171** March 4)

Throughout the world humans use music for many things, for majority of us it __is__ used as a form of expression and or a peace of mind. Music __is__ also used in rituals. We can find music everywhere in church, celebrations and unique cultural rituals. Involved in our daily routine it serves as a different purpose for humans. **How and why is using music for church, celebrations, and unique cultural rituals different then using it as a form of expression and or a peace of mind?**

When going through trials and tribulations music __is__ a tool that can bring peace to mind, body and soul. __Making__ people become relaxed and releasing all the tension in the body while shutting the entire world out and being alone. Deeping every last thought __making__ them more clear to see and understand. **How does music make people become relaxed and release all the tension in the body?**

Expressing emotions can be hard, but for many when expressing themselves music __is__ one of the main tools used to complete that goal. At any moment through the day people sing with or without music, some sing more than once a day. Whether it __is__ a song of their own, or singer’s song. As for me I sing whenever the opportunity __is__ given, hopefully when no one is in ear shot to hear. We can sing about anything. Singing a song __is__ like telling a story with a melody. **Does it matter whether people sing their own songs or a singer's song?**

Hearing the rhythm of the beat with the bass and drums banging loud it can be heard from miles away. While the tempo speeds up every measure. Feet begin to tap and hands being to clap keeping track of the sound’s off beat. Before the blink of an eye people are up swinging their hips from side to side, feet moving twenty miles per minute without missing a beat. Screaming and shouting, dancing a joyful dance. **I like the way this paragraph paints a picture, is dancing always joyful? Or are you talking about a specific situation?**


 * I think you are giving this a really great start and that you are focusing on comparing music as it is used in cultural situations verses music as a form of personal expression. So to me, you're basically breaking down the differences between a group of people and an individual and how those two things use music. You have great insight about the individual, but I would like to see some more writing on the cultural or the group of people. Well done! I like that your idea has become concrete from the first draft.**

Final **Comparison** (posted **RHS** March 9 -- **171** March 11) Music has two uses. For majority of us it is used as a form of expression and or group connection. Music is also used in rituals. We can find music everywhere in church, celebrations and unique cultural rituals. Involved in our daily routine it serves as a different purpose for humans. The difference between the two is form of expression has more of a personal use to it while group connection has various people coming together and connecting on a certain level through music. **This paragraph is much stronger than the last introduction. What is the certain level that people are connecting on through music?** Majority of groups use music to connect to God or a higher power of their beliefs. For as long as I can remember every church I have attended has had a church choir. A choir put together for people to use their voice to, as my grandma would say, “Give God the praise and glory thanking him for all that he has done.” I, myself belong to a gospel choir, yet mine is a little different from the original stereotypical gospel choir. I belong to my school’s gospel choir Bridges 2 Harmony and since we attend a public school we have restrictions on the songs we can sing because of the religious rule in public schools. **How do these restrictions change how you sing? Do they affect the emotion and reason for singing?** Yet we still sing to give our own personal and group praise to a God of our belief, but we also sing to give joy to others. Not all choirs are made based on faith; some are based on sharing the music interest and getting the opportunity to give that joy to others in their audience. Being able to spread joy into others lives is gift that people should enjoy to give. Being involved in a choir and knowing that after a performance people beamed with excitement wishing it never end is why we sing. We sing make not just ourselves happy, but to make the ones around us happy even if it just for that one moment. **The idea that others can benefit from your singing is a unqiue one and interesting.** When going through trials and tribulations music brings peace to the mind, body and soul. Making people become relaxed and releasing all the tension in the body while shutting the entire world out and being alone. Deeping every last thought making them more clear to see and understand. The rhythm and tempo of the beat along with the loud bass drowns out everything surrounding us at the moment making the words of the song the only thing we can clearly comprehend. With every lyric that accompanies the beat we become more in tune to our emotions. At this moment it is hard to deny what is being felt. Reality finally sinks in and we become more up to date with all that has been going on. Making it easier to finally express what we never thought we could. **Why is it easier to decipher your feelings through the lyrics of a song? It is because everyone experiences similar emotions or do they just help you realize your own emotions?** Expressing emotions can be hard, but for many when expressing themselves music completes that goal. At any moment through the day people sing with or without music, some sing more than once a day. Whether it is a song they have written or singer’s song, it does not matter whose song it is or who is singing it as long there is some kind of connection between the listener and the lyrics or beat. I sing whenever I can, hopefully when no one is in ear shot to hear. We can sing about anything. Singing a song is like telling a story with a melody. It is easier to say what we have been trying to let people know when it comes to our personal mindset. Various people I know find it easier to express themselves through music and story writing, but there are just as many who prefer to do the same thing except through dance.**How are dancing and music connected? Does that matter?** Hearing the rhythm of the beat with the bass and drums banging loud it can be heard from miles away. While the tempo speeds up every measure. Feet begin to tap and hands being to clap keeping track of the sound’s off beat. Before the blink of an eye people are up swinging their hips from side to side, feet moving twenty miles per minute without missing a beat. Screaming and shouting, dancing a joyful dance. Yet not every dance has a happy feeling behind it, for years now people have danced for distinct reasons or emotions. No matter what sensation that is held inside there will always be a dance to go along with it. Being able to use music in different forms throughout our daily routine can be seen as quit a privilege. **Why and how is it a privilege?** Having something in our everyday life that we can relate to and can make us feel things we never thought we could. Music has its main two uses being for personal use or group connection, where both of these play a major part in our society. Without these things music meaning would not be as dear to our hearts as it is. In a world where people believe there are very few things people have in common with each other the love of music is something that can be shared with every last human to step foot on our earth. The world is a gift and music is the huge ribbon that ties and holds it all together. **I like the way you used the ribbon idea, to "tie" it all together.**


 * This piece has made so much progress from the first stage, well done. I really like how much more developed each comparison is. You've really created a lot more writing and that is wonderful. I like the way you've identified and defined the differences.**


 * There a few questions that you leave unanswered. Such as how and what dancing and music have in common, how restrictions affect the music, and why music is seen as a privilege, but overall this is a much better thought out draft than the first two versions.**

Traunna Harris

Mr. Johnson AP Lang 11th April 2012 Music has two uses. For majority of us it is used as a form of expression and or group connection. Music is also used in rituals. We can find music everywhere in church, celebrations and unique cultural rituals. Involved in our daily routine it serves as a different purpose for humans. The difference between the two is form of expression has more of a personal use to it while group connection has various people coming together and connecting on a certain level through music. A level that is can only be felt inside. This level is a deep connection to one mentally and emotionally. Majority of groups use music to connect to God or a higher power of their beliefs. For as long as I can remember every church I have attended has had a church choir. A choir put together for people to use their voice to, as my grandma would say, “Give God the praise and glory thanking him for all that he has done.” I, myself, belong to a gospel choir, yet mine is a little different from the original stereotypical gospel choir. I belong to my school’s gospel choir, Bridges 2 Harmony and since we attend a public school, we have restrictions on the songs we can sing because of the religious rule in public schools. Having restrictions on sons does not change anything about our singing. When we sing the chosen songs, we still connect to the song by the message that we are trying to get across to the people listening. Yet we still sing to give our own personal and group praise to a God of our belief, but we also sing to give joy to others. Not all choirs are made based on faith; some are based on sharing the music interest and getting the opportunity to give that joy to others in their audience. Being able to spread joy into others lives is gift that people should enjoy to give. Being involved in a choir and knowing that after a performance people beamed with excitement wishing it never end is why we sing. We sing not just to make ourselves happy, but to make the ones around us happy even if it is just for that one moment. When going through trials and tribulations music brings peace to the mind, body and soul. Making people become relaxed and releasing all the tension in the body while shutting the entire world out and being alone. Deepening every last thought making them more clear to see and understand. The rhythm and tempo of the beat along with the loud bass drowns out everything surrounding us at that moment, making the words of the song the only thing we can clearly comprehend. With every lyric that accompanies the beat we become more in tune to our emotions. At this moment it is hard to deny what is being felt. Reality finally sinks in and we become more up to date with all that has been going on, making it easier to finally express what we never thought we could. Whether we believe it or not, there are tons of people who go through and feel the same thing we do. Turning your emotions into a song makes it easier for others to connect and maybe even detect what they are feeling also. It is a one form for everyone to share the same emotions with each other. Expressing emotions can be hard, but for many when expressing themselves music completes that goal. At any moment through the day people sing with or without music, some sing more than once a day. Whether it is a song they have written or a singer’s song, it does not matter whose song it is or who is singing it as long there is some kind of connection between the listener and the lyrics or beat. I sing whenever I can, hopefully when no one is in ear shot. We can sing about anything. Singing a song is like telling a story with a melody. It is easier to say what we have been trying to let people know when it comes to our personal mindset. Various people I know find it easier to express themselves through music and story writing, however there are just as many who prefer to do the same thing except through dance. Hearing the rhythm of the beat with the bass and drums banging loud, it can be heard from miles away. While the tempo speeds up every measure, feet begin to tap and hands being to clap keeping track of the sound’s off beat. Before the blink of an eye people are up swinging their hips from side to side, feet moving twenty miles per minute without missing a beat. People are screaming and shouting, dancing a joyful dance. Yet not every dance has a happy feeling behind it, for years now people have danced for distinct reasons or emotions. No matter what sensation that is held inside there will always be a dance to go along with it. Being able to use music in different forms throughout our daily routine can be seen as quite a privilege. A privilege because not all people get the chance to learn about and use different types of music in their everyday life, Having something in our everyday life that we can relate to and cane make us feel things we never thought we could. Music has its main two uses being for personal use or group connection, where both of these play a major part in our society. Without these things music meaning would not be as dear to our hearts as it is. In a world where people believe there are very few things people have in common with each other the love of music is something that can be shared with every last human to step foot on our earth. The world is a gift and music is the huge ribbon that ties and holds it all together.
 * Reflection #2 (RHS ** March 16 -- **171** March 25)

Rough Draft **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 6 -- **171** April 8) Hip Hop is “a popular urban youth culture, closely associated with rap music and with the style and fashions of African-American inner-city residents” (The Free Dictionary). Past generation see our hip hop music as degrading, negative and a bad image to our race. **Why do past generations see hip hop as degrading, negative, and as a bad image? What does this have to do with race?** Yes, it is true that some of today’s rappers’ music does not portray a positive image for African Americans, but not all of them or their songs should be looked at in a negative view. There are several rappers today who have produced songs with powerful messages. **Which rappers? Do you know any good examples of songs? What messages are they producing?**

Revision **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 13 -- **171** April 15) Hip Hop is “a popular urban youth culture, closely associated with rap music and with the style and fashions of African-American inner-city residents” (The Free Dictionary). Older generations see today’s hip hop music as degrading, negative and a bad image to our race. Yes, it is true that some of today’s rappers’ music does not portray a positive image for African Americans, but not all of them or their songs should be looked at in a negative view. There are several rappers today who have produced songs with powerful messages. **Who?** Over the past decade old school rap has transferred into what is now known as hip hop. Many who are not brought up around nor have any kind of knowledge on this culture may not know that there is a difference. New school hip hop has become more materialistic. Rappers seem to be extremely rapped up “[W]ith having gold trinkets, and showing off in public what their financial clout was. In Hip Hop we have the "bling bling" era. It's about the cars, the gold teeth the clothing brand…” (Banjoko). The image that is being created seems to be more important than the message that should be given in their music. This is the number one reason why hip hop is different from old school rap. **What are the other reasons?** As years go by it seems that artist’s creativity disintegrate, yet “ Old school rappers were very creative with their words and their sounds. They gave messages with creativity.” (CK). Not only did rappers from the 90’s use their mouth to make beats, but they also incorporated poetry and controversial topics throughout their lyrics. During this period of time it was all about the message the lyrics were given not the image. Legendary rapper Tupac “2pac” Shakur came onto the rap scene in the early 1990’s. During his rise to fame he was becoming known for his violent song lyrics that spoke on “ fights, gangs, and sex” (Biography).
 * From you have written, I am understanding that you are going to argue that hip hop can have positive messages for African Americans as opposed to the way that people usually view it, which is mostly negative. I think this is an interesting angle to write about, but you don't give me much to go on. Try to explain your argument and why this is important.**


 * You've made some good progress from the first draft by bringing in quotes and outside sources to get your point across, how can you connect them in your own words? Try to explain the quote, then use the quote and then explain it some more in your own words. I think the idea that hip hop can be a positive influence on youth is very unique and interesting. Well done.**

Work Cited Page


 * "Hip Hop." //The Free Dictionary//. Farlex. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * Banjoko, Adissa. "Hip Hop and the New Age of Ignorance." //Hip Hop Commentary//: 1. //Hip Hop News FVN Newsletter//. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * CK. "Re: What Is the Difference between New School and Old School Rappers?" Web log comment. //Flowofmusic//. 07 Feb. 2012. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * "Tupac Shakur Biography." //Biography//. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. [].

Final **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 20 -- **171** April 23)
 * This is what I have so far. I plan to post the rest by Sunday night.**

Traunna Harris

Mr. Johnson

AP Lang

20th April 2012

Hip Hop is “a popular urban youth culture, closely associated with rap music and with the style and fashions of African-American inner-city residents” (The Free Dictionary). Older generations see today’s hip hop music as degrading, negative and a bad image to our race. Yes, it is true that some of today’s rappers’ music does not portray a positive image for African Americans, but not all of them or their songs should be looked at in a negative view. There are several rappers today who have produced songs with powerful messages. **This is a good entrance to your topic. How could you open the idea up to not only African Americans, but other people as well?**

Over the past decade old school rap has transferred into what is now known as hip hop. Many who are not brought up around nor have any kind of knowledge on this culture may not know that there is a difference. New school hip hop has become more materialistic. Rappers seem to be extremely rapped up “[W]ith having gold trinkets, and showing off in public what their financial clout was. In Hip Hop we have the "bling bling" era. It's about the cars, the gold teeth the clothing brand…” (Banjoko). In majority of the videos being made today, they all consist of the same things: girls, money, cars, alcohol, flashy cars and jewelry. The image that is being created seems to be more important than the message that should be given in their music. This is the number one reason why hip hop is different from old school rap. As years go by it seems that artist’s creativity disintegrate, yet “ Old school rappers were very creative with their words and their sounds. They gave messages with creativity.” (CK). They found different ways to say what they wanted like using similes and metaphors. Not only did rappers from the 90’s use their mouth to make beats, but they also incorporated poetry and controversial topics throughout their lyrics. During this period of time it was all about the message the lyrics were given not the image. **Why has old school rap been faded out? Why isn't it around anymore?**

Legendary rapper Tupac “2pac” Shakur came onto the rap scene in the early 1990’s. During his rise to fame he was becoming known for his violent song lyrics that spoke on “ fights, gangs, and sex” (Biography). I believe that 2pac is one of the best rappers to ever make it in the music industry, because a lot of his lyrics were explicit, but every bar that was being recorded spoke the truth. The truth that many people experienced, but not many were bold enough to make others realize that it is real. **Why were people bold enough to speak the truth?** In 1993 2pac released a song titled //Keep Ya Head Up//, a song dedicated to anyone at that time going through hard times reminding them to be strong and keep pushing through. His first verse would probably be one of his most quoted. It stated:

“ Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juiceI say the darker the flesh then the deeper the rootsI give a holler to my sisters on welfareTupac cares, and don't nobody else careAnd uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lotWhen you come around the block brothas clown a lotBut please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let upForgive but don't forget, girl keep your head upAnd when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe himAnd if he can't learn to love you you should leave himCause sista you don't need himAnd I ain't tryin to gas ya up, I just call em how I see emYou know it makes me unhappy (what's that)When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a pappyAnd since we all came from a womanGot our name from a woman and our game from a womanI wonder why we take from our womenWhy we rape our women, do we hate our women?I think it's time to kill for our womenTime to heal our women, be real to our womenAnd if we don't we'll have a race of babiesThat will hate the ladies, that make the babiesAnd since a man can't make oneHe has no right to tell a woman when and where to create oneSo will the real men get upI know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up” (AZ Lyrics).

This first verse of the song was dedicated to the women who are left on their own to be the mother and father of their children. In my opinion this verse has a lot of truth to it; I see several females disrespected by males, several females that do everything on their own without any help from anyone. Women deserve a lot more credit than received and 2pac was a person that noticed that and tried to do something about it. Tupac “2pac” Shakur was an bold, fierce rapper that made the way for all the rappers today. **How does this connect to the materialistic side of hip hop?**

Now in the year 2012 there are still a few rappers that try to keep the same tradition by speaking on real topics that we face today. Jermaine “J. Cole” Cole is one of the top rappers in the music industry. Similar to 2pac, J. Cole raps about real situations, but he also is similar to other rappers in this generation who make more club hits, songs that are just made to dance to and may contain derogative statements. In his recent CD, //Cole World: The Sideline Story//, contains a track titled //Lost Ones//. This track speaks on a young couple that becomes pregnant and the male isn’t ready to be a father, yet the mother refuses to get an abortion.

“Baby girl, I can’t imagine what it’s like for youI got you pregnant now inside there is a life in youI know you wonderin’ if this is gon make me think bout wifing youLike if you had my first child would I spend my whole life with you” (AZ Lyrics).

Since I have entered my junior year of high school I have seen more and more situations like the one he explains in the song. In my city it seems as every month there is another young teen girl pregnant, another teen girl who believes that now that she is carrying his child he will stay with her forever. These lyrics are not just lyrics they are real life situations. However, more rap artist need to release more singles that have messages instead of the now stereotypical singles that are being released. I still believe there should be club hit singles released, but the need of less meaningless songs is high. Songs that can be more related will probably sell better. **This is a good paragraph that really connects everything, well done.**

Not all rappers are blinded by what is going on in the world. There are a few who are majorly huge humanitarians. Common, Wyclef Jean, Jay – Z, 50 Cent and many others are not just making music, but also giving back to the communities across the world. Both Common and Wyclef Jean have established their own charities. Common’s “Common Ground Foundationto serve as inspiration for equality, opportunity and hope among youth in underserved communities. The Foundation is committed to empowering youth in urban neighborhoods and providing life skills needed to achieve their dreams.” (Look to the Stars). While, Wyclef Jean started, the Yéle Haiti Foundation, which gives back to his home country Haiti. It is true that some rappers are extremely materialistic, but at the same time many of them behind scenes are extremely giving. **I would like to know more about these and truly understand them, I like that there could be two individual paragraphs about them.**

No matter what kind of music artist make they are going to be judged by someone. However, we cannot place judgment of one’s music on whom they are as a person or fully blame them for the troubled society. All rap artists have both positive and negative music, so as a society we would be wrong to judge them on one song.


 * I think that the subject you chose to argue is a good one and I am impressed with the final product. There are a couple needed transitions, like how Tupac relates to the more materialistic side of hip hop and your second to last paragraph could use a little clarity, overall though well done.**

Work Cited Page


 * "Hip Hop." //The Free Dictionary//. Farlex. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * Banjoko, Adissa. "Hip Hop and the New Age of Ignorance." //Hip Hop Commentary//: 1. //Hip Hop News FVN Newsletter//. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * CK. "Re: What Is the Difference between New School and Old School Rappers?" Web log comment. //Flowofmusic//. 07 Feb. 2012. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * "Tupac Shakur Biography." //Biography//. Web. 12 Apr. 2012. .
 * "2PAC LYRICS - Keep Ya Head Up." //Az Lyrics//. Web. 21 Apr. 2012. .
 * Boogie. "J. COLE LYRICS - Lost Ones." //AZ Lyrics//. Web. 21 Apr. 2012. .
 * "Common's Charity Work, Events and Causes." //Look To The Stars//. Web. 21 Apr. 2012. .

Reflection #3 (posted **RHS** April 23) The purpose of doing this type of essay is to show strength on making a claim and being able to support it I believe I accomplished this very well because I stated my claim and then gave reasoning, and evidence to support it. I picked this topic because of the background knowledge and personal experience of being raised around both old and new school hip hop.

I think this was a valuable subject to consider and there were only a few things that I would like to see you work more with. Good work.