R.N.+--+Molly+Wilensky

Letter of Introduction (posted January 20)

Hi Rebekah!

My name is Molly and I am a junior English and Psychology double major at Drake! I am very involved in school activities as well! I am president of Drake's co-ed service fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. We volunteer at many fun service opportunities around the Des Moines community - Night Eyes at the Blank Park Zoo, Living History Farms, the science center, and more! I also serve on the Honors Student Council as the Curriculum Committee Chair. I work around 20 hours per week at the Student Life Center as a manager. I have a twin brother named Mark who attends Washington University in St. Louis. He has never really been a fan of writing and reading. He's more interested in computers and environmental science.

I agree that it's hard to get into the writing mode. It always seems to go that when I have inspiration to write, I don't have time to write. When I have time to write, I am never particularly inspired. One thing that helps me is to start writing assignments way before they are due. By doing this, I allow myself to brainstorm and test out a couple of topics before I actually delve into my rough draft. Otherwise, if I wait until the last minute, I don't have the opportunity to choose my favorite idea for the paper and I waste way more time trying to write about topics that don't interest me. I also like to have my rough draft finished a day or two before I have to turn in the assignment. Sometimes even finishing a paper right before I go to bed and then looking at it again in the morning can be helpful. I find that once I haven't looked at a paper in a while, I start to notice where my arguments seem weak and find sentences that clearly don't make any sense.

I'm sure you're a stronger writer than you think! I personally believe that writing is a form of self-expression. Yes, there are rules that need to be followed. Ultimately, though, I think if you are proud of your writing and feel as though you successfully articulated your thoughts in written form to the best of your ability, you are a strong writer. I think it's really great that you were asked to write a book for your drumming group! Grammar and spelling can be taught - creativity is something more natural :)

I am really excited to work with you! I will be sure to focus on your fluency and anything else you feel you are struggling with. I hope you have a fantastic weekend!!

~Molly

Dear Molly, My name is Rebekah and I am a junior at Roosevelt. I am really involved in the school and find it difficult to find time for other activities. I really enjoy drama (not people drama but the extracurricular). I am a mime. It's actually a lot more difficult then it seems. You have to get your audience to understand exactly what you are trying to do. You also have to come up with ideas on how to fill time and smoothly go from scene to scene. When you pair all of this with timing and fitting it to music, it takes a lot of effort. I am also a drummer so you will find me spinning my pencil between my fingers and tapping my foot occasionally. Something you should know about me is that I have a really difficult time staying focused when it comes to writing. Since I spend so much time on other things, it's hard to get into the writing mode. It's even harder because I am not too strong of a writer. Something interesting though is that I was asked to help write a book for the drumming group I am in. I was asked for my creativity or something like that. If I were to choose one thing to work on with my writing, it would be fluency throughout the essay. I feel like I am very choppy with what I want to say. Anyway, I am excited that you will be working with me though I see you have two of us to work with. I hope you're up to it haha. Rebekah

As a high school junior looking back, I never realized how much crime and pain and bad memories I would feel over the years. There has been a few moments in my life where I thought that the world was falling apart. This one time, however, it almost did. I remember sitting at home, watching my favorite show from the couch. My dad was watching with me and my mom was sitting in her chair messing with her computer. During an intense part of Scrubs, my mom gasped loud enough for me to jump from across the room. She told my dad to call my uncle "A.S.A.P." He had asked why but when he turned to look at her, he picked the phone up and dialed without a reply. Since I was curious, I asked her what was wrong. She told me that my cousin had posted on facebook "R.I.P. to my brother Chad. He died just two days after his 35th birthday," and that she sure hoped it was some sort of sick joke. My dad hung up the phone with this grave expression I can recall perfectly. He said that what Lisa had posted on facebook was correct, and that my uncle was too distraught to remeber calling my family. His son had been found dead and cold in a motel room from a cardiac failure. This was a year and a half ago. I still do not know the entire story. It made me begin to resent facebook though. As well as motels. Time went on and I, as well as my family, failed to get answers on the death of our loved one. Up until recently that is. We found out that Chad had been brought to this motel by his //friends// who had rented a room. These //friends// also had drugs that my cousin was allowed to use. That must make them really good friends then right? Well Chad passed out and being the good friends they were, they made sure he was still alive. One friend even blew crack in his face because maybe more drugs would wake him up. Well, he was not waking up. Some of his other friends thought it would be a good idea to call an ambulence since he was passed out for so long. The person renting the room said no. My cousin was passed out for twelve hours. He never woke up. The friends finally called 911 when they realized he was cold and blue on the floor. I bet they are proud that they had the decency to call the authorities. I bet they are proud that they were good enough friends to give him a good time on his way out of this life. I bet they do not regret leaving him on the floor for so long, treating him like a piece of furniture. Too bad he did not wake up to tell them how good of friends they were. And now I question, who is a friend?
 * Personal Reflection on Topic of Inquiry ** (posted **RHS** January 27 -- **171** January 29)

Rebekah,

It sounds like your experience with the pain and bad memories involving your uncle’s death have made you question what it means to be a friend. Now that you have more insight into his death, and the actions of his friends that led to his death, you seem to express a lot of anger about their neglect of his well being. I think you did a great job conveying your anger. The repetition of the word “//friends,//” and your use of sarcasm are excellent tools for making your personal reflection more relatable and engaging. I also enjoyed the fact that you told the story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. There were places, however, where I was really curious to know how you think your questioning of friendship has affected your own relationships. It seems like, through your sarcasm, you have identified actions that call friendship into question. What would you say are the most important qualities of friendship? How do you handle situations in which your friends let you down? How has your uncle’s experience with friendship affected your own friendships? Looking back on your life, can you articulate how you used to feel about friendship and how you now feel about friendship? I think your reflection was especially powerful because everyone has experiences with and opinions on friendship.

I’m very appreciative that you chose to share this story with me. Often our best writing comes from feeling comfortable writing about topics that evoke strong emotions. One small thing I would suggest is to read your papers out loud. There was a moment in your post where you switched tenses in the middle of a sentence. In your first sentence the phrase “looking back” and “would feel” are contradictory because “looking back” suggests past tense and “would feel” suggests future tense. I’m not sure if you were able to write your reflection and then let it sit for a day or so, but giving yourself time to re-read your work after you have written it provides a great opportunity to catch this little grammatical error and any spelling errors that may crop up. I’m really excited to continue responding to your writing. It seems like you are able to express yourself, and your feelings, very well. That’s half the battle of writing!

I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about my comments and questions.

~Molly

Rough Draft **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 3 -- **171** February 5) (Before I begin you should know I have absolutely no idea where to begin with this so all feed back is good feedback:D I changed the topic from what is a friend to a broader subject which is what is addiction)

When a dictionary is opened, and the word addiction is looked up, the definition is always something like the state of being in constant need of something, or it can also be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What the reader does not find, however, is what the addiction means in reality.

Addiction is not abuse. They are very similar, but in my experience, abuse can be stopped. It is using something over and over because that is what others do. It is constant use to avoid the reality that the user cannot face. Abuse leads to addiction.

High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives. With this drama is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When they come back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality.

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. The most popular drug I see is pot. Although people say you cannot get physically addicted to it, they can always be psychologically. I see people walk across the bridge so that they are off of school grounds. Everybody knows what they are doing. Not much is done about it though.

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from overdosing while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught for possesion to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. In this case, addiction means a person's life.

Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible suffer. Everybody has a family of some sort. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within loved ones. They get scared that the person going off to never come back. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are there. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return.

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper then that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone.

(Before I begin you should know I have absolutely no idea where to begin with this so all feed back is good feedback:D I changed the topic from what is a friend to a broader subject which is what is addiction) **It’s okay that you don’t know where to begin – that’s what rough drafts are for!**

When a dictionary is opened, and the word addiction is looked up, the definition is always something like the state of being in constant need of something, or it can also be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What the reader does not find, however, is what the addiction means in reality. **I think you have a strong basis for this opening paragraph – you establish a clear sense of what term is being defined, which is one of the first things the prompt asks you to do. One thing you could do to start off more assertively is to use active voice. For example, instead of saying “When a dictionary is opened…,” you could say “When one opens a dictionary…” This simple change in the wording of your idea changes it from an abstract event to something more concrete and relatable. I really like how you begin by outlining how many people perceive the term “addiction.” Your argument might be enhanced if you add in a sentence to present a clear and basic definition for what you believe “addiction means in reality.”**

Addiction is not abuse. They are very similar, but in my experience, abuse can be stopped. It is using something over and over because that is what others do. It is constant use to avoid the reality that the user cannot face. Abuse leads to addiction. **I was a little confused by what you were saying in your second and third sentences of this paragraph. Make sure you use nouns (ex. addiction, abuse) instead of pronouns (ex. it). Can addiction be stopped? How? Are you trying to say that addiction is using something over and over, which leads to abuse? Try using more concrete sentences to explain how addiction and abuse differ. Saying phrases such as “addiction is _, while abuse is ” lets the reader understand both terms.**

High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives. With this drama is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When they come back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality. **Are you trying to say that addiction is more prevalent in high schoolers? Do you think the escape from drama is why people become addicted to drugs? What are other things high schoolers become addicted to in order to cope with the difficulties in their lives?**

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. The most popular drug I see is pot. Although people say you cannot get physically addicted to it, they can always be psychologically. I see people walk across the bridge so that they are off of school grounds. Everybody knows what they are doing. Not much is done about it though. **Maybe instead of talking about how you see them doing drugs, talk about how doing drugs affects them in the classroom. Why do you think “not much” is done about these students?**

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from overdosing while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught for possesion to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. In this case, addiction means a person's life. **It sounds like you are saying that abuse of an addictive substance, and not the addictive substance itself, is the only thing that leads to police involvement**. **Can people have addictions without abuse?**

Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible suffer. Everybody has a family of some sort. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within loved ones. They get scared that the person going off to never come back. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are there. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return. **What do you think families can do to help a loved one conquer addiction?**

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper then that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone. **I think this paragraph does a great job of concluding your paper. Your final definition of addiction, “addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable…” is a unique definition that you have established based on anecdotes and examples throughout the paper.**


 * Rebekah,**


 * I think you have a great start to your paper! You have the main elements that the prompt asks for, and you provide a unique, complex, definition of addiction. I would encourage you to continue to think of more examples of addiction that would support your claim. Maybe providing an anecdote about a type of addiction that does not involve drugs would make your argument more comprehensive. Your paper shows a good structure and transitions! Make sure you spell-check and re-read your paper for run-on sentences and grammatical errors.**


 * Keep up the great work! Great papers are not written during the first draft process. Strong drafts, though, are essential to producing a great paper** ** J **


 * Please let me know if you have any questions! I decided to comment after each paragraph so that I could provide more specific comments on the different areas of your paper.**


 * ~Molly**

Sources of addiction: A definition of addiction-http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addiction http://uconnmagazine.uconn.edu/fwin2005/images/addiction-circle2.jpg My cousin died from addiction and he didn't live to explain experience I go through school with the smell of pot and the daze of students that are high. Examples of- http://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/science-addiction Hey Molly, I am so sorry but I may be a little late getting this post up in time. I'll have it at the latest by Satruday. I'm out of town for a funeral :( I'll get it to you ASAP though! :) Rebekah

Revision **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 10 -- **171** February 12 ) When one opens a dictionary and they look up the word ‘addiction’, the definition they generally find is something along the lines of a state of being in constant need of something, or it may even be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What one finds, however, is not what addiction means in reality. Addiction is pain and suffrage to everyone within its grasp.

Addiction is not abuse. Abuse is the action that initiates addiction. Abuse can be stopped much easier than addiction can. Addiction wraps its ghostly fingers around the brain of a person and makes them think that life cannot go on without whatever substance is intertwined with addiction. Abuse is merely the enjoyment of using said substance.High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives.

Teenagers and young adults are more prone to drugs and addiction because they feel a need to conform to society and follow others in order to fit the ‘in crowd’s’ specifications. With this drama and need to fit in is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When a person comes back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality to them while their realities become a nightmare they need to avoid.

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. I see drug deals more times a week than can be counted. When I go to class, I see those people with their eyes half closed, ranting about things that do not matter at all. They take the name class clown to a new level. Students attempting to do work get distracted by trying to confuse the person that came to class stoned. Headaches are also a frequent consequence of students doing drugs at school. The smell lingers and makes people cringe. Not much is done about it though.

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from using drugs over and over and over agian while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught with possession to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. For people like this, addiction means death.

Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible get caught in the mess of obsession. Everybody has a family of some sort; whether it be family or friends. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within a person and in turn that causes anger, fear, and sadness in their loved ones. A person gets scared that their loved one with addiction may never come home. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are still there, left to clean up the mess that was left behind. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return.

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper than that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone.

_

When one opens a dictionary and they look up the word ‘addiction’, the definition they generally find is something along the lines of a state of being in constant need of something, or it may even be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What one finds, however, is not what addiction means in reality. Addiction is pain and suffrage to everyone within its grasp. **I think you might mean suffering instead of “suffrage,” which is the right to vote.**

Addiction is not abuse. Abuse is the action that initiates addiction. Abuse can be stopped much easier than addiction can. Addiction wraps its ghostly fingers around the brain of a person and makes them think that life cannot go on without whatever substance is intertwined with addiction. **I really like the way you describe addiction here. What you are doing is using personification, which is making an object or idea seem human-like. I see this when you say that “addiction wraps its ghostly fingers…” because addiction is not something that actually has fingers.** Abuse is merely the enjoyment of using said substance.High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives. **Maybe it would be better to move this last sentence to be the first sentence in the next paragraph.**

Teenagers and young adults are more prone to drugs and addiction because they feel a need to conform to society and follow others in order to fit the ‘in crowd’s’ specifications. With this drama and need to fit in is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When a person comes back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality to them while their realities become a nightmare they need to avoid.

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. I see drug deals more times a week than can be counted. When I go to class, I see those people with their eyes half closed, ranting about things that do not matter at all. They take the name class clown to a new level. Students attempting to do work get distracted by trying to confuse the person that came to class stoned. Headaches are also a frequent consequence of students doing drugs at school. The smell lingers and makes people cringe. Not much is done about it though. **What do you think would help students overcome their “addiction” to drugs?**

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from using drugs over and over and over agian while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught with possession to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. For people like this, addiction means death. **This might be a good place to bring in your personal experience with your cousin.**

Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible get caught in the mess of obsession. Everybody has a family of some sort; whether it be family or friends. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within a person and in turn that causes anger, fear, and sadness in their loved ones. A person gets scared that their loved one with addiction may never come home. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are still there, left to clean up the mess that was left behind. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return. **I think it is important that you mention that “even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible get caught in the mess of obsession.” Addiction can, indeed, affect more than just the person who is addicted.**

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper than that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone. **I think what you are trying to say here is that people can also become “addicted” to helping their friends and loved ones break their addiction.**


 * Rebekah, **


 * Great job! I can definitely tell that your paper has improved because you have more specific examples! **


 * Keep up the great work **** J **** I look forward to seeing your final draft. **


 * ~Molly **

Final **Definition** (posted **RHS** February 17 -- **171** February 19 ) When one opens a dictionary and they look up the word ‘addiction’, the definition they generally find is something along the lines of a state of being in constant need of something, or it may even be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What one finds, however, is not what addiction means in reality. Addiction is pain and suffering to everyone within its grasp.

Addiction is not abuse. Abuse is the action that initiates addiction. Abuse can be stopped much easier than addiction can. Addiction wraps its ghostly fingers around the brain of a person and makes them think that life cannot go on without whatever substance is intertwined with addiction. Abuse is merely the enjoyment of using said substance.

High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives. Teenagers and young adults are more prone to drugs and addiction because they feel a need to conform to society and follow others in order to fit the ‘in crowd’s’ specifications. With this drama and need to fit in is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When a person comes back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality to them while their realities become a nightmare they need to avoid. If they would join activities or clubs in the school, or find better friends, they would learn how to have fun without the use of drugs. They would learn how to make a cloud nine here on earth.

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. I see drug deals more times a week than can be counted. When I go to class, I see those people with their eyes half closed, ranting about things that do not matter at all. They take the name class clown to a new level. Students attempting to do work get distracted by trying to confuse the person that came to class stoned. Headaches are also a frequent consequence of students doing drugs at school. The smell lingers and makes people cringe. Not much is done about it though.

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from using drugs over and over and over agian while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught with possession to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. For people like this, addiction means death.

One afternoon, a man at the age of 35 lay dying on a motel room floor. His "friends" saw that he was passed out but stepped over him as if he were a pile of rotting compost. The only attempt to wake him up was by a "friend," who was also high, blowing more drugs into his face. He lay there for eight hours and never woke up. Nobody was arrested for his death. His sister had troubles getting up out of a bed for a year until she decided to start fighting and changing the laws for the better.

Not everyone has the strength to fight however. Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible get caught in the mess of obsession. Everybody has a family of some sort; whether it be family or friends. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within a person and in turn that causes anger, fear, and sadness in their loved ones. A person gets scared that their loved one with addiction may never come home. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are still there, left to clean up the mess that was left behind. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return. Sometimes, all of that stress and strain on a person can cause them to off themselves.

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper than that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. Addiction can kill a person that was not even struggling with an obsession. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone.

_

When one opens a dictionary and they look up the word ‘addiction’, the definition they generally find is something along the lines of a state of being in constant need of something, or it may even be described as being psychologically or physiologically dependent on a damaging material. What one finds, however, is not what addiction means in reality. Addiction is pain and suffering to everyone within its grasp. **I think your introduction is impactful because you identify the basic definition, as the prompt asks you to do, but you also give the reader a glimpse of how the way you see “addiction” differs from its normal dictionary definition.**

Addiction is not abuse. Abuse is the action that initiates addiction. Abuse can be stopped much easier than addiction can. Addiction wraps its ghostly fingers around the brain of a person and makes them think that life cannot go on without whatever substance is intertwined with addiction. Abuse is merely the enjoyment of using said substance. **I find this paragraph convincing because of your personification of addiction.**

High schoolers, well everyone in general, has drama in their lives. Teenagers and young adults are more prone to drugs and addiction because they feel a need to conform to society and follow others in order to fit the ‘in crowd’s’ specifications. With this drama and need to fit in is the need to escape reality and climb into a fantasy in which life is good. When a person comes back down from this cloud nine they have created, they feel the need to get back to it, and pretty soon, the fantasies become a reality to them while their realities become a nightmare they need to avoid. If they would join activities or clubs in the school, or find better friends, they would learn how to have fun without the use of drugs. They would learn how to make a cloud nine here on earth.

As a high school student, drugs are brought to my attention on a daily basis. I see drug deals more times a week than can be counted. When I go to class, I see those people with their eyes half closed, ranting about things that do not matter at all. They take the name class clown to a new level. Students attempting to do work get distracted by trying to confuse the person that came to class stoned. Headaches are also a frequent consequence of students doing drugs at school. The smell lingers and makes people cringe. Not much is done about it though. **Here, I am left wondering what, or who, you think is responsible for stopping addiction. Is it the job of your teachers? Parents? Spiritual institutions – like a church or synagogue? If you do believe one of these groups is responsible, why you do feel that way? I think responding to these questions might have given you more of a chance to insert your personal opinion. I feel this is important because it is, after all, your personal definition of addiction.**

There are other situations where things are not done with drugs either. For example, people die on the floor of a hotel room from using drugs over and over and over agian while their friends just sit and watch, too afraid of being caught with possession to do anything useful. There are not any laws for sitting and watching someone die. It is manslaughter. It is not seen as that to the government though. There have been motels with more than a call a day to 911 regarding situations that deal with drugs. If these motels were bars, the government would shut them down for being a public problem. For people like this, addiction means death. **Make sure to spell-check! The “a” should come before the “i” in “agian.”**

One afternoon, a man at the age of 35 lay dying on a motel room floor. His "friends" saw that he was passed out but stepped over him as if he were a pile of rotting compost. The only attempt to wake him up was by a "friend," who was also high, blowing more drugs into his face. He lay there for eight hours and never woke up. Nobody was arrested for his death. His sister had troubles getting up out of a bed for a year until she decided to start fighting and changing the laws for the better. **I really like how you were able to incorporate your cousin’s experience without directly mentioning him. I think this gives your readers a way to understand a very real situation in which addiction is deathly.**

Not everyone has the strength to fight however. Even those people who vow to stay as far away from drugs and addiction as possible get caught in the mess of obsession. Everybody has a family of some sort; whether it be family or friends. Addiction causes anger, fear, and sadness within a person and in turn that causes anger, fear, and sadness in their loved ones. A person gets scared that their loved one with addiction may never come home. When the addiction takes the life of the addicted, the friends and family are still there, left to clean up the mess that was left behind. They not only have to deal with the loss of someone close to them, but they get criticized for letting things get to the point of no return. Sometimes, all of that stress and strain on a person can cause them to off themselves. **Addiction seems to provide a method of escape for both the addicted and those affected by a loved one with an addiction. How can we assist people in seeking help as a solution, rather than to “off themselves”? What do you think needs to be done about this issue?**

Addiction is not just a compulsive dependence on a substance. It goes so much deeper than that. Addiction is escape, from a reality that is unlivable, it can be death to the addicted, it can also be sadness, fear, and so much more. Addiction can kill a person that was not even struggling with an obsession. It can tear apart a person from the inside to the out, and it is possible the damage can never be undone. **I think you end with a strong, personal, stance on addiction, which makes your paper convincing.**


 * Great work, Rebekah! I think your paper made a very strong progression from its first draft. **


 * Reflection #1 ** (posted **RHS** February 20 -- **171** February 22)
 * The purpose of my writing was to inform the reader that the definition of addiction is much deeper than a dictionary can show you. I felt that with the help of my college writing student, my paper was able to grow and expand into something great.
 * My intended audience was people who do not know about the feelings related to addiction. I adapted my writing by defineing certian definitions as well as giving examples on what I meant so that they had a clear understanding of what I meant. I also used an example that related to them by showing them that everyone is affected by addiction.
 * I wanted the readers to understand that the dictionary does not always tell you what a word means personally. Addiction means to me, something completely different than what it could mean to someone else. I gave my meaning with my examples.
 * I used a little bit of personification to show the readers that addiction is a creepy-crawly that finds its way to the core of a persons being. I also used a little pathos to get the reader to feel for my message. The main thing I used though was examples from my own experience to show the reader that situations dealing with addiction are in fact, real.(ethos)
 * I made the paper very matter of fact which made it seem serious, I hope, and can draw the reader's attention to the severity of addiction.


 * Rebekah, **
 * ** I think your paper definitely showed that “the definition of addiction is much deeper than a dictionary can show…” I noticed a lot of growth and expansion throughout your revisions. **
 * ** I think your examples were very powerful. **
 * ** I think you were able to express yourself through your examples **
 * ** Your personification and pathos were very effective devices for this paper. **
 * ** I think you did a good job of introducing the “severity” of addiction to your audience. **

Rough Draft **Comparison** (posted **RHS** February 24 -- **171** February 26 ) When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two are closely related but just different enough that they can be told apart. Abuse and addiction can both cause pain and heartbreak, but addiction can cause a deeper hole in a person's soul which is longer lasting. **And here I feel like more should be added but I'm not quite sure what.**
 * *Before I begin I'm really sorry this was late. I had it all typed it up on Friday at school after rehersal and then right after I hit save the computer shut down. I thought it sent but I guess it didn't. I also am not completely sure on what to compare addiction to. I feel like abuse would be a good option but I'm not exactly sure how to pull out three points to do this paper on. I also think that I could do good addiction vs. bad but I have no Idea at all. Here is my very rough draft though. -Rebekah **

Abuse is the misuse of a substance. Addiction, as Merriam Webster puts it, is the "compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance." In my opinion, abuse is a cause of addiction. A person uses drugs or alcohol, and they use it consistantly but they don't physically need it, this is an example of abuse. Addiction is once the use becomes a dependency and a person can not live without the substance. **I feel that here I keep repeating myself because I don't know how to describe the difference between the two. In my brain I know that the two are completely different just because of my personal experience but I don't know how to put that in words.**

Teenagers are prone to expierement with drugs and alcohol. They go out every friday night with friends and drink until sunday morning. This experimenting is abuse. Alcohol is prohibited to people under the age of 21 for a reason, same goes for drugs to everybody. The abuse of kids so young is the cause of addiction in people later in life. **And here is where I am completely stuck. I have no idea how to expand on this. Should I swich to good versus bad abuse? Or what? I kind of like the idea of abuse because not a lot of people realize the difference but I'm having MAJOR writersblock.**

-


 * *Before I begin I'm really sorry this was late. I had it all typed it up on Friday at school after rehersal and then right after I hit save the computer shut down. I thought it sent but I guess it didn't. I also am not completely sure on what to compare addiction to. I feel like abuse would be a good option but I'm not exactly sure how to pull out three points to do this paper on. I also think that I could do good addiction vs. bad but I have no Idea at all. Here is my very rough draft though. –Rebekah **** I’ll try to help the best I can! **

When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two are closely related but just different enough that they can be told apart. Abuse and addiction can both cause pain and heartbreak, but addiction can cause a deeper hole in a person's soul which is longer lasting. ** And here I feel like more should be added but I'm not quite sure what. **** Maybe you can use this paragraph to expand more on how they are “closely related,” but also how “they can be told apart.” For example, what about abuse and addiction makes them “cause pain and heartbreak”? Is it because they transform people into a different version of themselves? Is it because they can lead to death? Is it because of the way they affect others? Why does “addiction…cause a deeper hole in a person’s soul?” **

Abuse is the misuse of a substance. Addiction, as Merriam Webster puts it, is the "compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance." In my opinion, abuse is a cause of addiction. A person uses drugs or alcohol, and they use it consistantly but they don't physically need it, this is an example of abuse. Addiction is once the use becomes a dependency and a person can not live without the substance. **I think this could be a good place to bring in your idea about talking about “good addiction vs. bad.” Doing so might help you distinguish addiction from abuse. Another way to describe the difference between the two is by researching the body’s reaction to a substance and how, physiologically, the body becomes addicted through abuse of said substance. You could also potentially add in an anecdote about your cousin in this paragraph.** ** I feel that here I keep repeating myself because I don't know how to describe the difference between the two. In my brain I know that the two are completely different just because of my personal experience but I don't know how to put that in words. **** Try to use your personal experience to work through your difficulty. Maybe re-reading your topic of inquiry paper might help you reconsider abuse and addiction in terms of your cousin’s death. **

Teenagers are prone to expierement with drugs and alcohol. They go out every friday night with friends and drink until sunday morning. This experimenting is abuse. **If a teenager only has one drink, does that count as abuse? Or, do they need to make their body sick in order for you to identify it as abuse?** Alcohol is prohibited to people under the age of 21 for a reason, same goes for drugs to everybody. **Most drugs are illegal for people of all ages. Is defying the law the only way something can be identified as abuse?** The abuse of kids so young is the cause of addiction in people later in life. **Can only kids abuse substances? Does abuse always lead to addiction?** And here is where I am completely stuck. I have no idea how to expand on this. Should I swich to good versus bad abuse? Or what? I kind of like the idea of abuse because not a lot of people realize the difference but I'm having MAJOR writersblock. Hopefully my comments will help lessen your writer’s block!

Revision **Comparison** (posted **RHS** March 2 -- **171** March 4) When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two have multiple similarities such as having to do with using substaces, causing chemical changes in the brain, and causing pain and trouble to the user as well as the user's loved ones. Addiction and abuse are also as different as night and day. One causes temporary pain and suffering while the other can be life long. Abuse is the mere using of a substance for general hours of fun. Abuse can always be stopped if the abuser wants to quit. Addiction can be the effect of abuse. A person may only have to abuse a substance once to become addicted. Addiction is when a person becomes so dependent on a substance that a person has to go through therapy to become themselves again, if that's possible. When a person becomes addicted, they feel as if nothing else in the world matters except for the drug. Their life orbits the drug as if it were a shining sun rather than the black hole that sucks them in, and the majority of their life goes to getting that drug. Teenagers and young adults are more prone to abuse than adults in my opinion. Highschool is the time when people try new things to see what they like and what they do not. They like to have figured things out before they have large responsibilities such as a job and children. One thing that I have seen many students testing out, are drugs and alcohol. A lot of times, using these substances are ways to pass time on a Friday or Saturday night. Adults are the people seen with problems of addiction. They tried things out at a younger age and found that they liked the substance a bit too much. They also might have gone through a traumatic experience and may only find relief in a substance. A person with an addiction is a person who spends every night using their obsession. They get the nicknames of a drunk because they drink, they get drunk, and they pass out. They then wake up and begin the process over again. This happens with most addictions. People get caught with illegal substances and suffer. Some go to jail-- depending on the age-- or get community service. Those who abuse the substance tend to get scared when they do get caught and they feel the need to stop. Most of the time they succeed at quitting. The people who have the obsession, don't get to quit to easily though. They might be scared when they get arrested but they can't quit as easily. They get arrested multiple times and then they go through rehabilitation. Sometimes rehab works, but in other, severe cases, it just worsens. In those situations, sometimes the only clue to quit is when the person dies.
 * Dear Molly, **
 * I feel that your suggustions are really helping me. If I don't use them then it is because something clicked in my brain when I read a comment and I was able to expand a little more and I am really appriciative of the help. In this paper, I feel like it has a difficult challenge but it helps me to become a better writer. I don't really mention my cousin in this one because I don't know how I could relate it to both sides. If you could help me on that then I would love to put it in the paper. Also, when we meet in person we can go over this in great detail :) **
 * Thank you so much! **
 * Rebekah **


 * _ **

When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two have multiple similarities such as having to do with using substaces, causing chemical changes in the brain, and causing pain and trouble to the user as well as the user's loved ones. Addiction and abuse are also as different as night and day. One causes temporary pain and suffering while the other can be life long.

Abuse is the mere using of a substance for general hours of fun. Abuse can always be stopped if the abuser wants to quit. Addiction can be the effect of abuse. A person may only have to abuse a substance once to become addicted. **I think this paragraph does a good job of setting up your two ideas! Are you trying to say that abuse implies choice, and addiction implies a lack of choice?**

Addiction is when a person becomes so dependent on a substance that a person has to go through therapy to become themselves again, if that's possible. **Why wouldn’t going through therapy help them “become themselves again?” If you believe addiction turns people into someone else, what effect does abuse have?** When a person becomes addicted, they feel as if nothing else in the world matters except for the drug. Their life orbits the drug as if it were a shining sun rather than the black hole that sucks them in, and the majority of their life goes to getting that drug. **I’m glad you added this part in, as it really adds your voice to the paper!**

Teenagers and young adults are more prone to abuse than adults in my opinion. **It might be more effective to find some statistics to back up this opinion.** Highschool is the time when people try new things to see what they like and what they do not. They like to have figured things out before they have large responsibilities such as a job and children. One thing that I have seen many students testing out, are drugs and alcohol. A lot of times, using these substances are ways to pass time on a Friday or Saturday night. **Do you think boredom is the main reason for how this abuse starts? What role does peer pressure play? What other events or ideas might cause teenagers to turn to drugs and alcohol to “figure out things” before “they have large responsibilities such as a job and children?”**

Adults are the people seen with problems of addiction. They tried things out at a younger age and found that they liked the substance a bit too much. **What role does biology play in addiction? Do people only become addicted to a substance because they “liked it” “a bit too much”? What about people who abuse a substance once and then become addicted?** They also might have gone through a traumatic experience and may only find relief in a substance. A person with an addiction is a person who spends every night using their obsession. They get the nicknames of a drunk because they drink, they get drunk, and they pass out. They then wake up and begin the process over again. This happens with most addictions. **What happens with most addictions? Using the drug, having a physiological effect of the drug, and then starting over?**

People get caught with illegal substances and suffer. Some go to jail-- depending on the age-- or get community service. Those who abuse the substance tend to get scared when they do get caught and they feel the need to stop. Most of the time they succeed at quitting. **What other reasons, besides getting caught, convince people to stop abusing drugs or alcohol?** The people who have the obsession, don't get to quit to easily though. They might be scared when they get arrested but they can't quit as easily. They get arrested multiple times and then they go through rehabilitation. Sometimes rehab works, but in other, severe cases, it just worsens. In those situations, sometimes the only clue to quit is when the person dies. **Why do you think rehabilitation sometimes just causes “severe cases” to “worsen”? Are the two results of addiction really only rehabilitation or death?**


 * Dear Molly, **


 * I feel that your suggustions are really helping me. **** I’m really glad! That’s what I’m here for **** J **** If I don't use them then it is because something clicked in my brain when I read a comment and I was able to expand a little more and I am really appriciative of the help. **** I’m glad you feel comfortable making your own decisions and not always using my suggestions. After all, it is your work! In this paper, I feel like it has a difficult challenge but it helps me to become a better writer. What, in particular, about this paper, causes a “difficult challenge?” I don't really mention my cousin in this one because I don't know how I could relate it to both sides. If you could help me on that then I would love to put it in the paper. Right now I don’t really see a place where your cousin could fit in. I will think about this, though! Also, when we meet in person we can go over this in great detail :) Be sure to bring some questions for me! I’m excited to meet with you again! **


 * Thank you so much! **


 * Rebekah **

Final **Comparison** (posted **RHS** March 9 -- **171** March 11) When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two have multiple similarities such as having to do with using substances, causing chemical changes in the brain, and causing pain and trouble to the user as well as the user's loved ones. Addiction and abuse are also as different as night and day. One causes temporary pain and suffering while the other can be lifelong. Abuse is the mere using of a substance for general hours of fun. Abuse can always be stopped if the abuser wants to quit. Using a substance to abuse it is a choice while addiction, which is often the effect of abuse, becomes a necessity. A person may only have to abuse a substance once to become addicted and this fact argues the difference between the two. Addiction is when a person becomes so dependent on a substance that a person has to go through therapy to become themselves again, if that's possible. The addicted person relearns life without the addiction and is able to function as they did before. When a person becomes addicted, they feel as if nothing else in the world matters except for the drug. Their life orbits the drug as if it were a shining sun rather than the black hole that sucks them in, and the majority of their life goes to getting that drug.

Abuse on the other hand, is when a person feels the need to fit in a little bit better. In their head, they feel that they are accepted into the group that their peers fit into. Young adults are more prone to abuse than an adult over the legal drinking age. According to statistics by Drug Abuse Recognition Training, “ The highest age percentage for illicit drug use is 18 to 21. This represents 8.7 percent of the population.” College is the time when people try new things to see what they like and what they do not. Drugs and alcohol are included. They like to have figured things out before they have large responsibilities such as a job and children. Abuse may also be common in this age group because they feel they are legal adults and should be able to do what they want, but then cannot by law.

Adults are the people seen with problems of addiction. They tried things out at a younger age and found that their brain liked the chemical changes a bit too much. They also might have gone through a traumatic experience and may only find relief in a substance. A person with an addiction is a person who spends every night using their obsession. They get the nicknames of a drunk because they drink, they get drunk, and they pass out, then they wake up. With most addictions, the process of getting drunk or high, having fun, then passing out is common. People get caught with illegal substances and suffer. Some go to jail-- depending on the age-- or get community service. Those who abuse the substance tend to get scared when they do get caught and they feel the need to stop. Another way they feel the need to quit is because of their loved ones. Many times, families and friends hold an intervention and sometimes it works. Most of the time, when they put their mind to it, they succeed at quitting. The people who have the obsession, don't get to quit as easily though. They might be scared when they get arrested but they can't quit as easily. They get arrested multiple times and then they go through rehabilitation. Sometimes rehab works, but in other, severe cases, it just worsens. In those situations, sometimes the only clue to quit is when the person dies.


 * I am SOOOOO sorry this is late. I totally blanked on what day it was! In all honesty it still feels like a Monday! Again I am soooo sorry! Also, do you have any ideas on a conclusion? **

When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two have multiple similarities such as having to do with using substances, causing chemical changes in the brain, and causing pain and trouble to the user as well as the user's loved ones. **I think it could be really helpful to use this beginning paragraph to expand on the “multiple similarities” you suggest.** Addiction and abuse are also as different as night and day. One causes temporary pain and suffering while the other can be lifelong.

Abuse is the mere using of a substance for general hours of fun. Abuse can always be stopped if the abuser wants to quit. Using a substance to abuse it is a choice while addiction, which is often the effect of abuse, becomes a necessity. A person may only have to abuse a substance once to become addicted and this fact argues the difference between the two.

Addiction is when a person becomes so dependent on a substance that a person has to go through therapy to become themselves again, if that's possible. **Do they have to “go through therapy to become themselves again”? Do they even have to go through therapy at all? What are other ways in which someone can overcome addiction?** The addicted person relearns life without the addiction and is able to function as they did before. **What are the possible effects of having been addicted to something? Consider health, relationships, finances, etc.** When a person becomes addicted, they feel as if nothing else in the world matters except for the drug. Their life orbits the drug as if it were a shining sun rather than the black hole that sucks them in, and the majority of their life goes to getting that drug.

Abuse on the other hand, is when a person feels the need to fit in a little bit better. **Does abuse always occur when “a person feels the need to fit in a little better?” What are other reasons for abuse?** In their head, they feel that they are accepted into the group that their peers fit into. Young adults are more prone to abuse than an adult over the legal drinking age. According to statistics by Drug Abuse Recognition Training, “The highest age percentage for illicit drug use is 18 to 21. This represents 8.7 percent of the population.” College is the time when people try new things to see what they like and what they do not. Drugs and alcohol are included. They like to have figured things out before they have large responsibilities such as a job and children. Abuse may also be common in this age group because they feel they are legal adults and should be able to do what they want, but then cannot by law. **I think your statistic is very helpful because it gives the reader a better image of how much of an impact addiction can have.**

Adults are the people seen with problems of addiction. **Are adults the only ones affected by addiction?** They tried things out at a younger age and found that their brain liked the chemical changes a bit too much. **I think this comment might benefit from some more research. I think genetics might be something to explore in terms of chemical changes and how they impact the body.** They also might have gone through a traumatic experience and may only find relief in a substance. A person with an addiction is a person who spends every night using their obsession. They get the nicknames of a drunk because they drink, they get drunk, and they pass out, then they wake up. With most addictions, the process of getting drunk or high, having fun, then passing out is common.

People get caught with illegal substances and suffer. Some go to jail-- depending on the age-- or get community service. Those who abuse the substance tend to get scared when they do get caught and they feel the need to stop. Another way they feel the need to quit is because of their loved ones. Many times, families and friends hold an intervention and sometimes it works. Most of the time, when they put their mind to it, they succeed at quitting. **Is this true? Some statistics might help support your claim.** The people who have the obsession, don't get to quit as easily though. They might be scared when they get arrested but they can't quit as easily. They get arrested multiple times and then they go through rehabilitation. Sometimes rehab works, but in other, severe cases, it just worsens. In those situations, sometimes the only clue to quit is when the person dies.


 * I am SOOOOO sorry this is late. I totally blanked on what day it was! In all honesty it still feels like a Monday! Again I am soooo sorry! Also, do you have any ideas on a conclusion? **


 * Rebekah, **


 * I think your paper has come a long way from your first draft! I think you could maybe just rephrase your ideas that abuse and addiction are both consequences of experimenting, but that their differences lie in their potential effects, etc. Ideas for a conclusion might come to you as you consider more of the ways in which abuse and addiction are similar, which is one aspect of your paper that I feel is not as developed. I think you do a very thorough job talking about the differences between the two definitions. **

Addiction vs. Abuse: What is the Difference? When a person thinks of addiction, the term abuse is never far from their thoughts. The two have multiple similarities such as the person involved misusing substances, for example, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine and other harmful drugs come to mind. They can both cause chemical changes in the brain that trick it by acting as other chemicals and making the user feel good.They both also can cause pain and trouble to the user as well as the user's loved ones when abuse or addiction plants a foot in a person’s life. Addiction and abuse are also as different as night and day. One causes temporary pain and suffering while the other can be lifelong. Abuse is the mere using of a substance for general hours of fun. Abuse usually is extinguishable if the abuser desires to quit. Using a substance to abuse it is a choice while addiction, which is often the effect of repeated abuse, becomes a necessity. A person may only have to abuse a substance once to become addicted. The fact that a person has the ability to become addicted after one use argues that abuse and addiction have the same meaning. That first time, however, was a choice and the choice solidates that it was initially abuse. Addiction is when a person becomes so dependent on a substance that they have to go through therapy in attempt to become themselves again, if that's possible. Sometimes, however, a simple intervention from the family and loved ones is all the help the addicted needs. The addicted person relearns life without the addiction and is able to function almost as good as they did before. Occasionally, the person suffers from relapse and it is a lot easier for the person to turn to addiction again in the future. This is because when a person becomes addicted, they feel as if nothing else in the world matters except for the drug. Their life orbits the drug as if it were a shining sun rather than the black hole that sucks them in, and the majority of their life goes to getting that drug. Abuse on the other hand, is when a person is looking for a good time, or is when a person wants to experiment, or is also when a person feels the need to fit in a little bit better. In their head, they feel that they are accepted into the group that their peers fit into. Young adults are more prone to abuse than an adult over the legal drinking age. According to statistics by Drug Abuse Recognition Training, “The highest age percentage for illicit drug use is 18 to 21. This represents 8.7 percent of the population.” College is the time when people try new things to see what they like and what they do not. Drugs and alcohol are included. They like to have figured things out before they have large responsibilities such as a job and children. Abuse may also be common in this age group because they feel they are legal adults and should be able to do what they want like drink, but then they cannot by law so they do it illegally. Adults are the people seen with problems of addiction. They tried things out at a younger age and found that their brain liked the chemical changes a bit too much. They also might have gone through a traumatic experience and may only find relief in a substance. A person with an addiction is a person who spends every night using their obsession. They get the nicknames of a drunk because they drink, they get drunk, and they pass out, then they wake up. With most addictions, the process of getting drunk or high, having fun, then passing out is common. People get caught with illegal substances and suffer. Some go to jail-- depending on the age-- or get community service. Those who abuse the substance tend to get scared when they do get caught and they feel the need to stop. Another way they feel the need to quit is because of their loved ones. Many times, families and friends hold an intervention and sometimes it works. Most of the time, when they put their mind to it, they succeed at quitting. The people who have the obsession, don't get to quit as easily though. They might be scared when they get arrested but they can't quit as easily. They get arrested multiple times and then they go through rehabilitation. Sometimes rehab works, but in other, severe cases, it just worsens. In those situations, sometimes the only clue to quit is when the person dies. Abuse and addiction are similar, which most people know, but they are also as different as they are similar. Abuse comes from wanting to experiment and figure things out while addiction almost always stems from abuse. Coming back to reality from abuse is a lot less difficult than from addiction. Addiction also is less temporary.
 * Reflection #2 (RHS ** March 16 -- **171** March 25)

Rough Draft **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 6 -- **171** April 8) Laws are put in place to protect the public and the environment, but people break laws. Breaking laws is like wearing a bullet proof vest with a hole over most of the stomach and chest. The vest then becomes pointless because the person is as good as dead without the full protection. When a law is broken, the protection dissolves and the person again, is as good as dead.

Some laws that are broken are not as risky as others, such as littering. It does not effect the litterer personally. It does not harm them, threaten their life or observers lifes. It does not make them a terrorist or make them guilty of murder. But if every person in the world dropped at least one piece of trash a day, that would be over 7,005,505,716 pieces of trash per day according to the United States Census Bureau. In just one week that would be 49,038,540,012 pieces of trash. In one year that would be 2,550,004,080,624 pieces of trash. The world would be covered in waste and eventually we would all die from all of the methane gas created from the natural composition of garbage. So by the government setting laws, we are being protected.

A common law that isn't often broken is driving the wrong way down a one way street. Sometimes people do it because they are lost and do not know that a street is a one way, but genrally, if a person knows that a certian street is a one way, they will not go down it the wrong way because they know that the chance to get in a car accident greatly increases. Law makers know this fact also and put in place a law saying that you cannot go down a one way street the wrong way in order to protect the drivers. Then the public follows the law. If they did not, there would be so many more accidents and accident related deaths per year.

One law that is obvious, yet is broken all the time and causes harm to multiple people is drug use. People argue that it is a foolish law because it does not hurt a person and it is just a way for a person to have a bit of fun. In all honesty, drugs are the fourth leading cause of death in the United States, and the laws are put in place to protect the citizens and allow them to live long healthy lives. People break this law and then are surprised when some sort of consequence to their body occurs. Breaking a law that causes serious damage such as drugs is like taking the risk of driving down a one way street the wrong way. It is stupid.

Laws were created to be followed. They were created to help the public in one way or another. Some may be obvious laws and others may be foolish but each law is created to protect. So when a person breaks a law, they take the risk of hurting themselves or someone else. So why take the risk?

_______________________

Laws are put in place to protect the public and the environment, but people break laws. **Who puts laws into place? Experts? Government officials? Citizens? It might make your argument stronger if you are able to explain how laws come to exist.** Breaking laws is like wearing a bullet proof vest with a hole over most of the stomach and chest. The vest then becomes pointless because the person is as good as dead without the full protection. When a law is broken, the protection dissolves and the person again, is as good as dead. **What else is affected when a person breaks a law? I know you mention, in your next paragraph, that the world is affected, so it might be beneficial to explain how there are often multiple consequences when a law is broken. I think your analogy of how “breaking laws is like wearing a bullet proof vest” is very effective, here!**

Some laws that are broken are not as risky as others, such as littering. **By risky, do you mean not life-threatening?** It does not effect the litterer personally. It does not harm them, threaten their life or observers lifes. It does not make them a terrorist or make them guilty of murder. But if every person in the world dropped at least one piece of trash a day, that would be over 7,005,505,716 pieces of trash per day according to the United States Census Bureau. In just one week that would be 49,038,540,012 pieces of trash. In one year that would be 2,550,004,080,624 pieces of trash. **I think these statistics are very effective. Do you think most people know littering is illegal? Why are people more likely to break this law compared to other laws? Do you think there is a more effective way to enforce this law?** The world would be covered in waste and eventually we would all die from all of the methane gas created from the natural composition of garbage. So by the government setting laws, we are being protected. **Is it just the government, though, that sets laws?**

A common law that isn't often broken is driving the wrong way down a one way street. Sometimes people do it because they are lost and do not know that a street is a one way, but genrally, if a person knows that a certian street is a one way, they will not go down it the wrong way because they know that the chance to get in a car accident greatly increases. Law makers know this fact also and put in place a law saying that you cannot go down a one way street the wrong way in order to protect the drivers. Then the public follows the law. If they did not, there would be so many more accidents and accident related deaths per year. **How does this relate to your overall argument? Do you think that people would drive the wrong way down one-ways if it was legal? Why do you think people are more likely to abide by this law, rather than abide by the littering law? What else makes a law effective, other than preventing “accidents and accident related deaths”?**

One law that is obvious, yet is broken all the time and causes harm to multiple people is drug use. People argue that it is a foolish law because it does not hurt a person and it is just a way for a person to have a bit of fun. **What are some other arguments for why drugs should be legalized?** In all honesty, drugs are the fourth leading cause of death in the United States, and the laws are put in place to protect the citizens and allow them to live long healthy lives. **What other reasons are there for these laws’ existence?** People break this law and then are surprised when some sort of consequence to their body occurs. **Who is responsible when people break laws? If laws regarding drug use did not exist, would there be as much temptation to break them?** Breaking a law that causes serious damage such as drugs is like taking the risk of driving down a one way street the wrong way. It is stupid. **What are some other commonalities between breaking a drug law or breaking a driving law?**

Laws were created to be followed. They were created to help the public in one way or another. **Does that mean that people who break the rules don’t want to “help the public”?** Some may be obvious laws and others may be foolish but each law is created to protect. So when a person breaks a law, they take the risk of hurting themselves or someone else. So why take the risk? **I think this is an important question! When I write argumentative papers, I try to explain the other side of the argument. That way, you can acknowledge that there is merit for the opinion that rules are meant to be broken, but you can use your own beliefs to explain why you disagree.**


 * Rebekah,**
 * I think adding in some opposing opinions might help make your argument more persuasive. There are also opportunities for you to work directly with your argument, that rules should be followed, to be more persuasive. What type of laws exist that DON’T have a life or death consequence? What are some other consequences of disobeying laws? Do you think laws that have age-limit restrictions are necessary – ex. drinking age laws? How do laws change over time?**

Revision **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 13 -- **171** April 15)
 * ~Molly**

Final **Argument** (posted **RHS** April 20 -- **171** April 23)

Reflection #3 (posted **RHS** April 23)