A.M.+--+Danielle+Cristal

Hi Amy!

Great to hear all about you! I’ll try to introduce myself as best as I can, but you’ll probably get more of a sense of who I am when we meet.

I’m originally from Columbia, Missouri, which is mostly known for the having the University of Missouri there. I come from a big family (not quite as big as yours!) and I’m the second oldest out of four sisters. My older sister lives in New York City and the rest still live in Missouri. I’m a senior at Drake this year and this is my last semester. I am majoring in Public Relations and English, both of which have very different writing styles. I have a couple jobs right now. I work at the Drake Athletic Ticket office, but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself sporty by any means. I also babysit for two families during the week and I have an internship at Metro Arts Alliance downtown, so I’m pretty busy! At Drake, I’m a part of sorority on campus that actually volunteers at Wesley Acres, so I’ve been there a lot! We hang out with the residents, play bingo with them, and that kind of thing.

When I was in high school, I was a part of different volunteer organizations as well as newspaper and yearbook. I also played the violin in the school orchestra, but I never thought I was that musically talented (haha).

As for writing, I chose my English major based on the fact that I love to read and I love to discuss and write about books. This class is definitely something different than I have ever done before, so we’ll be learning together which I think will be fun! I want to try and help you as much as I can and I hope we can be really open about our writing. I know it’s hard to show other people your writing, it’s still a little hard for me sometimes! But I hope that you always feel comfortable with me.

I’m so excited to meet you in person and to start working together! Danielle

Letter of Introduction (posted January 20) Hello. My name is Amy Murillo and I am sixteen years old. I have so many things to say about myself that I don’t even know where to start. I come from a big family. We are six girls and two boys plus my mom and dad. The youngest one is six months so there is a lot of work to do at home. I work at Children’s Garden which is a child daycare inside Wesley Acres near downtown. I work with three year olds which can sometimes be a pain but they always have their days when they want to be naughty and when they want to be good. I am into church a lot. I usually have no time for homework because of all the church activities I have. I go to school, then work, then to church then get home at about nine or nine thirty if not later. I am in the youth group and choir at my church so that keeps me very busy. I play the piano, melodic, trumpet and guitar. I am learning how to play the saxophone but am not doing too well because I haven’t put much time into it. My dad is the pastor, so me and my family travel about every weekend. This makes my life super busy and no time for school sports and activities that I wish I could be in. Anyways after a roll on my life, I would like to hear from you and what you do.

On the topic of writing, I don’t have much to say except that I need lots of help. I have never really felt confident on any of my essays but I feel that I do really well on putting evidence throughout the essay. What I need lots of help in is the organization as a whole. I need to be sure of what I am going to talk about and how I am going to do it so that my essay feels strong. I feel that I need help on my diction and understanding how to put it in without sounding like I just want to sound smart. I also need lots of help with the beginning or introduction of my essays. I don’t know how to catch the reader’s attention. As a writer, I hope to gain the potential of writing at least a college entrance essay.


 * Personal Reflection on Topic of Inquiry **(posted** RHS ** January 27 -- **171 ** January 29)

Amy Murillo

27 January 2012

Mr. Johnson and Mrs. Petra

Block 1

Tasting the bitter W hat are some events in my life that have defined me? I have none, or so I thought. Sitting down on my computer trying to bring ideas of “big” events in my lifetime brought forth tears and thoughts of the past. When you ' r e only five you don’t understand the reason why you have to be different than the rest of the people and made fun of. How were you different? Different from who? Did something specific happen to you when you were 5 years old? Even now, that I am sixteen years old, I don’t understand why I have to be looked up and down for wearing a skirt each day. Can you describe how people look at you in more detail? Can you describe the skirt you're wearing? Just because I’m Mexican doesn’t mean that I can’t wear a skirt. People don’t see the beliefs but the outside. Do you mean that people just judge on appearance? What kinds of beliefs are you talking about?

Human beings automatically assert that a person is Muslim or from a very strict religion that doesn’t allow a person to do what they want. Why are people automatically asserting that a person is Muslim? Are you saying that people think you're Muslim because you're wearing skirts? This is called being judgmental; a way of making ones self feel better, while hurting others. If only they knew how much it means to the person that is dressing the way they are. If only they knew how painful it is to receive their nasty looks. Although I act like I don’t care, it hurts me deep inside. Why do I have to be different? Why do I have to be treated like an outcast for the way I dress?

This is at humans fault. People don’t look at themselves before making others look bad. Look at themselves in what way? Like people don't think before they act? <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> Do I need to have blonde or brunette hair with clothes from “Von Maur” to be accepted or even spoken to? If only they knew I want to run, hide, and cry the moment they belittle me. Some think they are not obvious of their behavior but why don’t they think that their whispering and giggling affects how a person feels about themselves.

<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">We wonder why there is so much war and not enough peace. Look back at this sentence, does this relate to the situation you're talking about? <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> Not once do we ask ourselves if there’s any way that we can make someone feel special for the way they are. All of this anger towards society puts me down to think… Why do we believe we are the best and the rest are trash? Just why do we have to look at the outside of a person and believe we are better? Do you think that everyone thinks that way? Is it just some people that think in that particular way?

<span style="color: #800080; font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">GREAT start, Amy! You're developing a very understandable and relatable topic. Everyone feels like they're on the outside sometimes and you are really brave to tackle this topic. One thing I think you should do is to try to describe more. You are talking about some really interesting scenes and I think you could elaborate by using more descriptions. I want you to SHOW me how they are whispering by describing a situation you've experienced, for example. You're telling me about these things, but I think you should show them to me by painting a picture with your words. I asked questions either to clarify or to try and help you expand upon the ideas you have already written. Again, great start!

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;">Rough Draft **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;">Definition **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;">(posted **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;">RHS **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;"> February 3 -- **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;">171 **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif;"> February 5) <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Amy Murillo <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">A.P. Lang and Comp <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Block 1 <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">02/03/12 <span style="display: block; font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt; text-align: center;">“Judging” <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">We have all been judged by the way we look or by the way we dress sometime in our life, but do we really know what the true definition of judging is? People want to be accepted and liked for the person they are but when judging takes place, it changes the persons way of thinking and even their own personality. It makes everyone feel like they are on the outside. <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">When some people think about this term, they think it is just looking bad at someone and giving them a score on how they look. The reality is that judging hurts the deep inside of a person because it is not only demeaning but a way of making ones self feel better by harming others. **I don't see an exact definition of what you think "judging" is. What do you think judging is or means exactly? Is it just based on appearance, based on attitudes or actions?**

<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Judging takes place everywhere. If you go to the store, it is there. If you go to library, it is there. If you go to the cafeteria, McDonalds, or even the bathroom there is judging taking place. The main place where I think judging spreads is a school and I say that because I have been a victim. **It seems like you begin to give examples right here but I think you could provide more details about these different instances. What happens in schools that is different than the library or McDonalds? Could you provide an anecdote of what it would be like to be "judged"?** <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">There has always been the misconception of judging. People believe they are not judging when they say, “Look at her clothes, that’s so old style” or “I’m not mean, I just don’t want her in our group cause look at how she’s dressing”. **What makes people think that they aren't judging when they say these things? Who are the people saying these things?** <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">These are all judgeful remarks that seem like they are nothing when you say them but if you put yourself to think, it hurts. This could be the same thing someone is saying about you! We never think of ourselves and how we look before we speak about others and judge. **Do you think everybody judges? Why?** <span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">We should accept everyone the way they are if we want to be treated the same way. **I like the last sentence!**

5 sources: 1. Myself 2. Thefreedictionary.com/judging 3. School 4. Family 5. Google

Corrine,
====Sorry I was a little late but I was a little confused on this writing. I still am and would like your help. I feel like I went all over the place and really didn't define. Should I broaden the topic, or what do you think I need help on because I didn't feel good about this essay at all? I know I need more examples but I couldn't think of any, could you give me some ideas. By the way, sorry that I could not go to Drake on Monday but the bus left me(embarrassing:)... Well anyways, Thanks!!====

Hi Amy, No worries about missing the bus! It happens. Wish I could have met you but we'll just have to wait until next time! This is a tough term to define and I think you have a good start! I think you might be a little bit broad. I want you to think about what you want to tell the reader. I think that could help you understand where you want to focus. Do you want the reader to know that you think judging is bad? Do you want the reader to understand why judging takes place? What if you focused on a certain kind of judging? It seems like you are writing a lot about the kind of judgement in school, so maybe you could focus on that kind of judging and use detailed anecdotes to explain what judging is. Does this help? If you ever want me to clarify something please let me know and don't hesitate to ask! Have a good rest of the weekend, Danielle

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Revision **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Definition **(posted**<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';"> RHS ** February 10 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** February 12 )

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Amy Murillo <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Block 1 <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">A.P. Lang and Comp <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">02/10/11

<span style="display: block; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; text-align: center;">Judging

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Have you wondered what people say about your **mode** of dressing when you get ready to go to school? **I'm not sure mode is the right word for this sentence, maybe style would be a better fit.** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"> Do you ever wonder if you should take off what you chose the night before and change into a new outfit that looks better and that people won’t comment about your dress? Well then you are thinking the same thing as me, why does this have to happen? Why can’t we be normal and think what we want to think, not what others want us to think. Maybe you didn’t know we have all been judged or maybe you have even judged others at school. There is no student that has not been a victim of judging. We get judged for the way we dress, we talk, and how we look //<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"> (to name a few -- **not needed**<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">) // <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">. According to thefreedictionary.com, one who judges is one that makes an estimate as to worth, quality, or fitness. This definition is correct, but I also think a big part of judging is the pain that is caused to the victim. Judging is making someone’s self feel better by harming others. **So what you're saying ultimately is that you think people judge others to make themselves feel better? Is there a way you connect your personal definition with the free dictionary one?**

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Judging takes place everywhere. If you go to the store, it is there. If you go to library, it is there. If you go to the cafeteria, McDonalds, or even the bathroom there is judging taking place. The main place where I think judging spreads is a school and I say that because I have been a victim. **Do you think that everyone at school can be considered a victim as well?** I go down the hallways and see people sneering at others and looking them up and down and then walking away as if they would get a disease by just talking to someone they think is not as good as them. **I love the comparison used here. It works really well in the scene you're creating.** Judging is seen more often in schools than in other places because there **are** so many teens in the same age range and that have grown in the same fashion. For instance, at McDonalds you see people from all types of ages and different backgrounds. Students at school are more prone to being judged because our generation wants everyone to be the same and dress accordingly to the celebrities’ fashion. **This part is a little confusing for me. Could you explain what you mean by "same fashion"?**

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">There has always been the misconception of judging. People believe they are not judging when they say, “Look at her clothes, that’s so old style” or “I’m not mean, I just don’t want her in our group because look at how she’s dressing”. People don’t believe this is judging because they only think of themselves. They don’t realize that this hurts the person they are talking about. People who judge the most are people who have money or who have the latest trends because they believe they have the right to judge. **Why do you think they believe that they have the right to judge others because of their money and clothes?** If they didn’t have the clothes they do, they would be the ones getting judged. So then why do they have to judge others? **Do you think people are unaware that they are judging others or are they unaware that it hurts people's feelings or both?**

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Saying things about people, //whether we really feel it// or not is not okay. **What do you mean by "whether we really feel it"?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;"> These “thoughts” are all judgeful remarks that seem like they are nothing when you say them but if you put yourself to think, it hurts. **What kinds of thoughts are these? Be a bit more specific.** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">This could be the same thing someone is saying about you! We never think of ourselves and how we look before we speak about others and judge. We should accept everyone the way they are if we want to be treated the same way.

I felt a little bit better because I focused more on school judging but I need your input on my organization! Thanks and hope you have a great weekend!!!!~Amy

Hi Amy! You have a clear introduction, but the middle and end seem to blend together a little bit. What message do you want to get across to your reader? That message should be explained throughout the paper with anecdotes, examples, etc, but your final thoughts should focus on the your final message. I think one tip that could help you in your writing is always think "why?". When you're making a claim or a strong statement, ask yourself why you think that? What does society make you believe about others? Just to play devil's advocate here, do you think you might be judging people who judge? That might be confusing but think about it and we can talk more about it when I meet you tomorrow! I hope I've been somewhat helpful and clear. We can go over stuff tomorrow though. See you then! Danielle

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Final **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Definition **(posted**<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';"> RHS ** February 17 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** February 19 )

<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Amy Murillo

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Block 1

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A.P. Lang and Comp

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">02/17/11

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Judging

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Have you ever thought that people can be talking about how **you're** dressed and not even know it? This happens in today’s schools. If you knew this, you might even take off what you chose to wear to school the night before and change into a new outfit that looks better, and that people won’t comment about your style of dressing. Why can’t we be normal and think what we want to think, not what others want us to think about ourselves and our style. **You're switching to people's thoughts rather than their appearance now. Do you want to talk about the judgment of people's thoughts? Or did you want to stick to appearance?** That is because there is judging going on **(out -- not needed)** in the world at every moment of the day. Maybe you did not know we have all been judged or maybe you have even judged others at school. There is no student that has not been a victim of judging. We get judged for the way we dress, we talk, and how we look. According to thefreedictionary.com, one who judges is one that makes an estimate as to worth, quality, or fitness. This definition is correct, but I personally think judging benefits the judger because it is making him feel worthy and good about himself. **Why does judging benefit the judger? Why does he feel worthy and good about himself when he judges others?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Judging takes place everywhere. If you go to the store, it is there. If you go to library, it is there. If you go to the cafeteria, ** McDonald's (don't forget the apostrophe on McDonald's) **, or even the bathroom there is judging taking place. The main place where I think judging spreads is a school and I say that because I have been a victim. Every student, as well as teachers , can be considered a victim. **(<-- I added commas in this sentence.)** I go down the hallways and see people sneering at others and looking them up and down and then walking away as if they would get a disease by just talking to someone they think is not as good as them. Judging is seen more often in schools than in other places because there are so many teens in the same age range and that have grown in the same era where fashion is almost necessary to fit in. **The word "almost" makes your point seem less strong.** For instance, at **McDonald's** you see people from all types of ages and different backgrounds. People wouldn’t be talking as bad about an elderly woman with an older style than a teenager with an older style. It just doesn’t happen. **Why not? What makes the old woman different than a high school student?** Students at school are more prone to being judged because our generation wants everyone to be the same and dress accordingly to the celebrities’ style of dressing. **What makes you think that way? Who say our generation wants everyone to be the same and dress like celebrities?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">There has always been the misconception of judging. People believe they are not judging when they say, “Look at her clothes, that’s so old style” or “I’m not mean, I just don’t want her in our group because look at how she’s dressing”. People don’t believe this is judging because people speak before they think. They don’t realize that this hurts the person they are talking about. **Are you sure the judger doesn't realize they are hurting the other person? Do you think they are doing it on purpose? Is there a difference between someone who judges on purpose and someone who doesn't realize they are hurting others?** Judging can be considered **(as -- not needed)** a form of bullying because it can even lead to death. **Does the act of bullying always result in death? This sentence seems to make too big of a claim.** Judging can hurt someone so deep that they feel there is no need to keep living. People who judge the most are people who have money or who have the latest trends because they believe they have the right to judge**.** **Do these two ideas connect? A transition or a new paragraph might help the flow of the paper.** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">They feel that they have everything and because of that, they talk about others style of dressing. If they didn’t have the clothes they do, they would be the ones getting judged. So then why do they have to judge others? ** Are you going to answer this question with your personal thoughts? Or is it something that you want the reader to think about? ** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Some people might not even realize they are judging. Even I have judged and that is why it has made me aware of what is going on at school. Some people don’t realize it hurts. **What if you talked about why it hurts? What about judging others hurts people? How does it hurt?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Saying things about people, is never okay. **What types of "things" are you talking about here? I think you should try to be more specific. Negative things? Positive things? Do you think that people shouldn't say ANYTHING ever about anyone else?** Thinking such as, “Gross, look at her pants. They have holes in them, that is sooo old” are painful to those who receive the comment. **Why is it painful?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">These “thoughts” are all judgeful remarks that seem like they are nothing when you say them but if you put yourself to think, it hurts. **Why do you think people think it's nothing to say these things?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">This could be the same thing someone is saying about you! We never think of ourselves and how we look before we speak about others and judge. We should accept everyone the way they are if we want to be treated the same way. We should not care what others think. We should just be ourselves and dress the way we want to dress! **This last message you tell the reader kind of strays away from the idea of judging. I thought you wanted to say that people shouldn't judge, but here you don't say a lot about not judging. The two ideas go together but I think you need to bring it back to the idea that judging is bad.**

** Amy - Great final draft! You added in a lot of examples of what people say and added other parts of the things we talked about. Read the comments for suggestions and ideas. You've grown so much since the beginning, and you have this whole paper to prove it! ** **A couple of things to remember - if you're asking a question, make sure you respond to it unless you want the reader to have it unanswered. Try reading the paper out loud to yourself. There were a couple of times where there were extra words in the sentence that you didn't need. I think reading out loud would help the flow of the sentences. Also don't forget to add transitions so your ideas come together naturally and make sense. AND don't forget to ask yourself WHY! Excellent final draft though!**

Amy Murillo A.P. Lang & Comp Ms. Lange/Mr. Johnson 04/11/12
 * <span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif; font-size: 24pt;">Definition Extra Credit **

What is Judging?

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Have you ever thought that people can be talking about how you are dressed and not even know it? This happens in today’s schools. If you knew this, you might even take off what you chose to wear to school the night before and change into a new outfit that looks better, and that people won’t comment about your style of dressing. Why can’t we be normal and wear what we want to wear without taking time to hear comments that others have to say about ourselves. That is because there is judging going on <span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> in the world at every moment of the day. Maybe you did not know we have all been judged or maybe you have even judged others at school. There is no student that has not been a victim of judging. We get judged for the way we dress, we talk, and how we look. According to thefreedictionary.com, one who judges is one that makes an estimate as to worth, quality, or fitness. This definition is correct, but I personally think judging benefits the judger because it is making him feel worthy and good about himself. It makes himself feel above others and gives them a sense of security about themselves. Their ego increases to a high point.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Judging takes place everywhere. If you go to the store, it is there. If you go to library, it is there. If you go to the cafeteria, McDonald’s, or something even as simple as a bathroom, judging is taking place. The main place where I think judging spreads is a school and I say that because I have been a victim. Every student <span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">, <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> as well as teachers <span style="color: purple; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">, <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> can be considered a victim. I go down the hallways and see people sneering at others and looking them up and down and then walking away as if they would get a disease by just talking to someone they think is not as good as them.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Judging is seen more often in schools than in other places because there are so many teens in the same age range and that have grown in the same era where fashion is a must to fit in. <span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> For instance, at Mc Donald’s, you see people from all types of ages and different backgrounds. People wouldn’t be talking as bad about an elderly woman with an older style than a teenager with an older style. It just doesn’t happen. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The only reason is that they respect someone of an older age than someone that looks like them. Students at school are more prone to being judged because our generation targets everyone to be a certain way.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">There has always been the misconception of judging. People do not believe they are judging when they say, “Look at her clothes, that’s so old style” or “I’m not mean, I just don’t want her in our group because look at how she’s dressed”. People don’t believe this is judging because people speak before they think. Sometimes not realizing that this hurts the person they are talking about. There are some people who might not even realize they are hurting others. Judging can hurt someone so deep that they feel there is no need to keep living.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">People who judge do not have a certain age group or commodity. Any one person can judge thus causing hurt to others. Although a website says that one who judges is usually a person who has envy and resentment to those who have what you want. You had always wanted the Coach bag that the new girl is wearing but your mom never bought it for you so you find something wrong with her hair such as a piece of hair that is not straightened and then comment on it and judge based on her appearance.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> So then why do they have to judge others? Saying negative things about people, is never okay. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Instead of telling them off, you can comment about something else that is good about them. Thinking such as, “Gross, look at her pants. They have holes in them and that is sooo old” are painful to those who receive the comment. People don’t want to know what you have to say about them. These “thoughts” are all judgeful remarks that seem like they are nothing when you say them but if you put yourself to think, it hurts. This could be the same thing someone is saying about you! We never think of ourselves and how we look before we speak about others and judge. We should accept everyone the way they are if we want to be treated the same way. We should not base our friendships based on what one has or does not have. Take away judging in the world and you will have peace!

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">This definition paper was to stand up for our rights and assert what we believe by explaining the definition of a term. I feel I accomplished this because I dislike judging and I explained to the reader the definition of judging. My intended audience was those who judge, because I was trying to state that it is not good for it makes people feel bad. I gave certain examples of judging incidents to show what they might do to someone else. I think what helped my essay draw some attention were the examples that I gave. I think I seemed kind of mad at the judger but sad for the one who was getting judged.
 * <span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Reflection #1 **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">(posted**<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';"> RHS ** February 20 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** February 22)
 * Your dislike for judging others definitely showed in your essay. Good job, Amy!**

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Rough Draft **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Comparison **(posted**<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';"> RHS ** February 24 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** February 26 ) Amy Murillo Block #1 A.P. Lang & Comp 02/24/12 Beneficial Judging vs. Poor Judging You might think judging is always hurtful and bad, but one who judges makes an estimate as to worth, dress style, worth, quality, or fitness. **I like how you use your definition of judging again! Careful though, you used the word "worth" twice.** Judging can be considered both good and bad. **I think this is a really interesting direction to take the idea about judging.** There is the act of beneficial judging in which the victim may be warned for the better and there is bad or poor judging in which the result is hurting someone else’s feelings. **Good distinction.** Judging can be for the good or for the worse. Judging can really help someone to see what their own eyes don’t see. Beneficial judging is always trying to improve something or someones. Its for the better of a person. My teacher once said, “Judging doesn’t have to be negative, you’re helping your friend out by telling her that her pants are too tight and don’t look like they should be worn to school like that”. //I put myself to think and then brought myself to a conclusion that this is so true.// **This sentence isn't necessary.** My teacher was absolutely right in that you can help others by judging them. //This is called beneficial judging//. **Neither is this sentence.** This judging is beneficial to those who receive it. Benefcial judging is not only helpful, but also helps people see what they don’t see about themselves. They might not see that their shirt is way too low-cut or that their body is showing a little too much. In beneficial judging you are trying to help someone out not hurt them to make yourself feel better. Poor judging or bad judging is hurtful. This type of judging makes someonel feel better about themselves by harming others. This type of judging can also be very demeaning. It **b** elittles the victim and makes them feel like they are not worth **anything** but trash. Bad judging is when someone looks at somebody else up and down and secludes him/her from the group because of what they are wearing. This act of judging doesn’t help the victim like in beneficial judging because you are not giving them advice. **Good comparison!** You are making them feel they are not worthy. Not only are you judging but even bullying. Both types of judging are common in todays world. They both observe a person or a thing but one hurts the victim while the other benefits. Beneficial judging can really help someone see what their own eyes cant see and improve while poor judging can be for the worse.

**Excellent comparison! I really like the way you show the two sides of judging. This is a great draft! One major thing that I can think of is to think about other ways of judging besides appearance. Does judging only come in the form of judging the looks and style of someone? Are there other ways that someone can be judged, either beneficial or bad judging?**

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Revision **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Comparison **(posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** March 2 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** March 4) <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Amy Murillo

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Block #1

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">A.P. Lang & Comp

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">02/24/12

<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,sans-serif;">Beneficial Judging vs. Poor Judging

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">You might think judging is always hurtful and bad, but one who judges makes an estimate as to dress style, worth, quality, or fitness. //Judging can be considered both good and bad.// **I think this sentence might be better if it was after "you might think judging is always hurt and bad, but..."** <span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> There is the act of beneficial judging in which the victim may be warned for the better and there is bad or poor judging in which the result is hurting someone else’s feelings. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Judging can be for the good or for the worse. Judging can really help someone to see what their own eyes don’t see. **Like I mentioned in the last draft, I like how you use the definition again, but what if you used the definition to describe both the negative kind of judging and the positive?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Beneficial judging is always trying to improve something or someone. It is for the better of a person. My teacher once said, “Judging doesn’t have to be negative, you’re helping your friend out by telling her that her pants are too tight and don’t look like they should be worn to school like that”. My teacher was absolutely right in that you can help others by judging them. This judging is beneficial to those who receive it. It lets the victim know or warns him/her of something that they can fix to make or look better. Beneficial judging is not only helpful, but also helps people see what they don’t see about themselves. They might not see that their shirt is way too low-cut or that their body is showing a little too much. In beneficial judging you are trying to help someone out not hurt them to make yourself feel better. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Poor judging or bad judging is hurtful. This type of judging makes someone feel better about themselves by harming others. This type of judging can also be very demeaning. It belittles the victim and makes them feel like they are nothing but trash. Bad judging is when someone looks at somebody else up and down and secludes him/her from the group because of what they are wearing. **Are there other ways of judging someone besides on appearance? What about judging someone's actions and behavior, the way they talk, etc? Maybe look back at the definition and use those examples.** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">This act of judging doesn’t help the victim like in beneficial judging because you are not giving them advice. You are making them feel they are not worthy. Not only are you judging but even bullying. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Both types of judging are common in today’s world. They both observe a person or a thing but one hurts the victim while the other benefits. Beneficial judging can really help someone see what their own eyes can’t see and improve while poor judging can be for the worse.

**The draft keeps getting better and better! One thing that could add to the paper is if you provided detailed examples of the different kinds of judging. Or adding other ways of judging besides appearance and clothing. Really good though Amy!**

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Final **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Comparison **(posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** March 9 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** March 11) Amy Murillo A.P. Lang & Comp Mr. Johnson/ Lange 03/09/12 Beneficial or Hurtful? You might think judging is always hurtful and bad, but judging can really help someone to see what their own eyes do not see. Judging can vary widely from being beneficial to hurting someone's feelings. There is the act of beneficial judging in which the victim is warned for the better and then put to decide whether he wants to accept or decline the judger's comment. There is also the act of bad or poor judging in which results in someone's feelings being hurt. Judging can either be for the better or for the worst. Beneficial judging is always trying to improve something or someone. Its for the better of a person. As my teacher once said, “Judging doesn’t have to be negative, you’re helping your friend out by telling her that her pants are too tight and don’t look like they should be worn to school like that”. My teacher was absolutely right in that you can help others by judging them. This type of judging is beneficial to those who receive it. It lets the person know and warns him of something that they can fix to make or look better. Benefcial judging also helps people see what they don’t see about themselves. They might not see that their shirt is too low-cut or that they are showing a lot if skin that is not a nice scene. In beneficial judging, you are trying to help someone out, not hurt them to make yourself feel better. **Again, think about the other ways a person can judge or give advice besides appearance. What about behavior and actions? Can you give advice or beneficially judge a person based on their actions?** Poor judging or bad judging always hurts. In one way or another, this type of judging makes someone feel better about themselves by harming others. This type of judging can also be very demeaning. It belittles the victim and makes them feel like they are nothing but trash. **I think you could expand on the different consequences that both good and bad judging has on the person being judged. Is it just based on feelings or is there action involved?** Bad judging is when someone looks at somebody else up and down and secludes him from the group because of what they are wearing, how they talk, or what they are wearing. This act of judging does not help the victim like in beneficial judging because you are not giving the person advice, you are making them feel unworthy. **How are you making them feel unworthy?** Not only is this judging but even bullying. Both types of judging are common in todays world. They both observe a person or thing and then comment on it. **Is there a difference between commenting about someone out loud or just saying it to yourself in your head? What is the difference? Does that difference matter at all?** But one form hurts the victim while the other benefits. Beneficial judging can really help someone see what their oen eyes can not see while bad judging can be for the worse


 * Amy, did you receive that paragraph I gave to your teacher to give to you? In it, I stressed to you that you should try to look at other ways of judging, like behavior. I see that you mention how you can judge a person based on the way they talk at the end of the third paragraph. But try to look more into that. Can you give advice or beneficially judge or a person based on their actions? What about bad judging and behavior? Think about the people around you and the behavior they have. Is it viewed in a certain way at certain times? Also, think and write about the consequences judging has, both good and bad.**

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Amy Murillo <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">A.P. Lang & Comp <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Mr. Johnson/ Lange <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">04/11/12
 * <span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype',serif; font-size: 24pt;">Comparison Extra Credit **

<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Beneficial or Hurtful? <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">One might think judging is always hurtful and bad, but judging is beneficial to some. It can really help someone to see what their own eyes do not see. Judging can vary widely. There is the act of beneficial judging in which the victim is warned for the better and then put to decide whether he wants to accept or decline the judger's comment. There is also the act of bad or poor judging in which results in someone's feelings or self-esteem being hurt. Judging can either be for the better or for the worst. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Beneficial judging is always trying to improve something or someone. It is for the better of a person. As my teacher once said, “Judging doesn’t always have to be negative, you’re helping your friend out by telling her that her pants are too tight and don’t look like they should be worn to school like that”. My teacher was absolutely right in that you can help others by judging them. This type of judging is beneficial to those who receive it. It lets the person know and warns him of something that they can fix to make or look better. Beneficial judging also helps people see what they don’t see about themselves. They might not see that their shirt is too low-cut or that they are showing a lot if skin that is not a nice scene. In beneficial judging, you are trying to help someone out, not hurt them to make yourself feel better. A good reason a person judges is when you can’t tolerate the same behavior or characteristic in yourself, so you advise the person to make better choices. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Poor judging or bad judging always hurts in one way or another. This type of judging makes someone feel better about themselves by harming others internally and altering their self-esteem. This type of judging can also be very demeaning. It belittles the victim and makes them feel like they are nothing but trash. Sometimes the person who is judging is not aware that he is or has acted in that same manner but is only disliking it when the other person is doing it. Bad judging is when someone looks at somebody else up and down and secludes him from the group because of what they are wearing, how they talk, or what they are wearing. This act of judging does not help the victim like in beneficial judging because you are not giving the person advice; you are making them feel insecure about themselves, their body and/or mind. Not only is this judging hurtful but can even lead to bullying. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Both types of judging are common in today’s world. They both observe a person or thing and then comment on it. Commenting out loud is usually when it hurts the most because the person hears what you have to say about them but commenting to yourself doesn’t make anything better or worse. But one form hurts the victim while the other benefits. Beneficial judging can really help someone see what their own eyes can not see while bad judging can be for the worse.

The purpose of this writing was to analyze two different aspects related to each other describing in an essay both their differences and similarities. In a way, we were supposed to compare and contrast having a clear purpose and making a point. I think I presented the two different topics but didn't provide enough examples and background information. I didn't give enough characteristics with sufficient details. My intended audience was to those who think that the only type of judging is bad. To appeal to my audience, I presented that bad judging hurts but then gave an example of beneficial judging and how it can really benefit someone. I chose this topic because I have experienced being judged and thought that I could give examples of bad and beneficial judging. Giving these two examples, I drew attention to my message.
 * <span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Reflection #2 (RHS **<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';"> March 16 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** March 25)
 * Thoughtful reflection, Amy. You point out several things that you don't think you did a good job on like descriptions and examples. Maybe in the next round try to consciously work on those things. I like that you paid attention to the audience of your comparison essay. That is an important thing to remember in any kind of writing.**

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Rough Draft **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Argument **(posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** April 6 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** April 8) Amy Murillo A.P. Lang & Comp Mr. Johnson/ Mrs. Lange 04/06/12 Judging

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Judging is a controversial topic these days. ** Why is a controversial topic? **<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Many wonder why people have to judge others for the way they look and dress. Others believe judging is beneficial to the person as a whole so that they can see their outside and how their actions are damaging the way they are being seen by others. ** This point goes against your idea that judging is bad. I don't think it should be in your introduction paragraph. **<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> Although many would argue that judging is a way of expressing themselves, judging is simply hurting others. Either by the way a person speaks, dresses, or walks, it should not matter. Judging messes with a person’s feelings and self-esteem. **I know that you want to say that judging is bad but you don't really directly tell me and the reader that. Make your claim known with a strong thesis. Also you bring up a lot of points arguing against your claim and that should not be in your introduction paragraph.**

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Judging is making an estimate as to dress style, worth, quality, or fitness. You might think judging is good for the person who is being judged, but in reality he or she is being hurt deeply. **Focus on why it's bad rather than why it might be good. It is confusing when you keep talking about how judging is good.** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">They are being messed with their feelings, making them feel insecure about themselves and how they look. This person is sometimes hurt internally by the comments made by those who judge, eventually leading to suicide. **Do you think that ALL judging leads to suicide eventually?** **<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Jumping to the idea of suicide is a pretty big jump and a very strong claim. Think about if you can make that claim about all people who get judged. **

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Some would argue that judging can benefit a person but in that case it damages more than it benefits. **But in what case? That sentence is confusing. Are you talking about a specific instance in which someone was judged?** <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">When a person is judged, it is **tooken (taken)** very personally. Judging is painful to those who are looked up and down for dressing a certain way. It is simply hurting a person. ** How is it hurting a person? Be more specific. How is it negative? How does it make people feel? WHY does it make people feel that way? **

Notes... I was wondering if I did this correctly. I know that judging is both good and bad, but I decided to just say that it is "BAD" for the person so that I could argue against those who don't believe so. I thought that in this way I was going to pose the argument to the reader... Am i okay in doing so..?? This is a very rough copy of my essay but I wanted to see if you could help me in my claims. Could I do a paragraph for each of my claims or how do I organize my essay?
 * In my experience with argument and persuasive essays, you need to start with a claim or a thesis choosing one side. Then you pick different points that support your claim. Each point gets a paragraph. I think the biggest issue with your argument is that you talk about the "good" side of judging before you talk about your argue that it's bad. Focus on why it's bad rather than why it might be good. Does that help?**

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Revision **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Argument **(posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** April 13 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** April 15) Amy Murillo A.P. Lang & Comp Mr. Johnson/ Mrs. Lange 13 April 2012

Judging Judging is a very controversial concept because there are a variety of different opinions about judging people. So, is it appropriate to judge other people? In my opinion, No, it is not. Many people, including myself wonder why people have to judge others for the way they look act, or dress. People do not express themselves the way they want to because they are scared of how they will be seen by others, Judging hurts every single person; either emotionally or physically.

Judging is making an estimate as to dress, style, worth, quality, or fitness, while inflicting pain on the person who is being judged. They are being messed with their feelings, making them feel insecure about themselves and how they look. He/ She is hurt internally and deeply because when they are judged they take it very personally. If a man was given a knitted sweater from his grandma and he decides to put it on because he loves his grandma, he will be hurt deeply. He will not want to wear that sweater for fear of getting rude and mean comments and being judged by people.

Some people will argue that judging benefits a person. They say they learn about morality, like which are appropriate and inappropriate actions. People who believe judging is okay say it helps them understand which actions are approved or disapproved by the outside world. If this was true, we would not have so many cliques in schools or certain fashions that everyone wants to wear because it is what’s “IN”. It is not morality we are talking about here, it is demoralization.

Judging can hurt in any sense. Whether emotionally or physically, judging makes people feel insecure about themselves and can lead to them questioning themselves whether they are wearing, saying, or doing the right thing or not. Judging can affect any one person who is judged.

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Final **Argument** (posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** April 20 -- **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">171 ** April 23) Amy Murillo A.P. Lang & Comp Mr. Johnson/ Mrs. Lange 20 April 2012

The negatives of Judging

=
In society today, it is my belief that everyone has the tendency to judge people. Everyone has their own perceptions of what is the norm and base their judgments off of their perceptions. People often judge others appearances before they even know the nature of that person. **I like this sentence!** People seem to make their perceptions based on what they can see physically. Judging is a disadvantage and harm to the human being’s feelings. **Be more specific on WHO has the disadvantage in the situation. Also think about WHY that person has a disadvantage. That would help your argument. Is it maybe unfair to be judged only by appearance? Think of ways to describe the WHY part of the disadvantage.** ======

=
Everyday people make assumptions of what they can see physically and not on the inside. Even at the market, people distinguish certain products by how they look. Most of time, people choose the good-looking product because it doesn’t have a crack, a bruise, or a flaw. Then they assume it will have a good taste. Actually, the good-looking does not have anything to do with the taste. Seemingly, this is also the way we judge people. **I like the example you used. It was different than people, but still made your point. Your transition back the people was really good too!** For example, in his “I Have a Dream” speech, Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character”. Judging people based on their appearances is only a disadvantage because we do not know how people really are. **Here is where you start talking about the WHY of the disadvantage. Why is it bad that people don’t learn about how other people really are?** ======

=
Some people will argue that judging benefits a person. They say they learn about morality, like which are appropriate and inappropriate actions. People who believe judging is okay say it helps them understand which actions are approved or disapproved by the outside world. If this was true, we would not have so many cliques in schools or certain fashions that everyone wants to wear because it is what’s “IN”. **I don’t understand how cliques and morality go together. Can you explain more about how cliques and morality connect? What do you mean by “in”? Are they certain actions that are considered “in”?** It is not morality we are talking about here, it is demoralization. ======

=
Judging hurts emotionally making people feel insecure about themselves. There is a saying that says, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. I find this to be true because people often make their judgment when they first meet a person. Then as they begin to talk and know the person, they find out that their judgment was not quite correct, that they only misunderstood the nature of the person they judged. This saying means we should not judge people by what they look like from the outside. We harm the human beings feelings when we do so. **Good ending, makes your argument end in a strong way.** ======

=
Here is my FINAL Argument paper. I feel I was a little bit more focused and didn't go all over the place. I wasn't so sure of leaving my third paragraph in the essay though... I don't know you think. ======

=

 * Your third paragraph is good as long as you make that argument seem false, rather than correct. I think you start doing that but if you answer the questions I gave you in that paragraph (Can you explain more about how cliques and morality connect? What do you mean by “in”? Are they certain actions that are considered “in”?), I think it will be stronger for your overall argument. **======

=

 * I think you have a strong argument and you use helpful example likes Martin Luther King, the market, and the book cover example in helpful and useful ways. Make sure you talk about the WHY part of your argument. Think about WHY that person being judged has a disadvantage. You have a lot of strong sentences in this essay though. Good job! **======

<span style="color: #0068ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">Reflection #3 (posted **<span style="font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','serif';">RHS ** April 23 )

To write a piece that forms reasons and makes inductions to form a discussion. The writing piece then explains the reasoning to form an argument. I think I did accomplish this purpose because I gave the reasons I believe that judging is wrong.

My intended audience was those that believe judging is not wrong. I tried putting reasons and examples of why judging is wrong so that they could also see what bad effects it has on a person.

What influenced me to write this argument paper was just seeing how many people try to avoid being condemned for judging and how they try to testify their own judgments. They believe judging is not bad and ignore what people try to tell them.

I think the example of Martin Luther King Jr. helped my essay a lot. I was able to put in a historical piece that many can relate to.